"Don't judge me, you can't handle half of what I've dealt with. There's a reason I do the things I do, there's a reason I am who I am. Good 1st Tuesday between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Did you all have a wonderful time consuming entirely too much food, drinking too much beverage, and arguing with relatives entirely too long? We had a very nice thanksgiving ourselves. It is always too brief but we had a great time. Our latest addition, Murphy (9 week old Boston Terrier) traveled with us. The little guy slept both ways. Guess our fears of him being a problem were unfounded. He was a perfect gentleman with all of the relatives and he had no accidents. Shoot he couldn't have one because he was continually passed from one adoring relative to another. The food put forth by my brother and sis-in-law was excellent as were the other dishes brought in by everyone else. We laughed a lot, caught up a bit on everyone's year. I met our newest human addition, Faeth. Faeth is the daughter of my youngest niece and her husband. She is a looker. Her name was created in honor of my mom. What an extremely thoughtful thing to do.
Our eldest daughter, Jenny, invited her significant other, Sven, to join our family for Thanksgiving dinner. As families sometimes do, we got into a lively argument over a trivial subject until we suddenly remembered we had a guest in our midst. There was an immediate, embarrassed silence. A pregnant pause if you will. "Please don’t worry about me,” he said. “I was brought up in a family too." We knew at that point he was one of us.
Murphy update – I believe the term “Potty Training” is not correct when used to define the act of going potty only when allowed and where allowed. He is fully potty trained already. He came to us knowing how to do #1 and #2 really well. He shows us all the time by going where ever he is at the moment. I believe a more accurate term to define managed passing of bodily wastes would be “Going Potty Where I Want You To Go and When I Want You To Go”. That is what we are really trying to accomplish.
At 9 weeks old, he is firmly convinced that everything, and I mean everything, is a chew toy. My arms are a testament to that. I have been feverishly researching just how you convince him that my body is off limits. Everything I try has failed so far. I have gone to wearing a sweatshirt and a ski mask just to protect myself. Darn if those things are hot when you are inside of the house.
I am a ponderer, a wanderer and a dreamer it seems. I have spent a good amount of my retirement so far pondering. It may be an Aquarian thing. Who knows but I thought I would share a few of the things I have pondered over the last few weeks. As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore. Pardon my French. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
Now that I'm 68 and almost 69 here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? 7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser. 8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. 16. It’s not hard to meet expenses... They're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after". 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
You have all heard the saying “It is Never As Bad As It Seems!” I bet. Here is a story I ran across that puts it all into perspective I think. Way out west (in America, of course), a cowboy is driving down a road, his dog riding in the back of his pickup truck, his faithful horse in the trailer behind. As he takes a curve on the highway he suddenly loses control of the vehicle and has a terrible accident.
Sometime later, a State Police officer comes on the scene. A great lover of animals, the officer's attention is first drawn to the horse. Realizing the serious nature of its injuries, he draws his service revolver and puts the animal out of its misery. Then walking around the accident he finds the dog, also critically wounded, and whining miserably in pain. This grips his heart and he quickly ends the dog's suffering as well.
Finally the police officer locates the cowboy, who has suffered multiple fractures and can barely breathe. “Hey, are you okay?” he says. The cowboy takes one look at the smoking gun in the trooper's hand and quickly replies, with unexpected energy, “Never felt better!”
It is now December, the month of the “Tie”. The last month of my year-long celebration of my high school graduation in 1964 – 50 years ago. I'm a bit down today thinking that the celebration is coming to an end. Making it worse I suppose, if that is possible, is that today is “Fritter” day. I was so lucky to have been able to experience a time so rich in music, love, war, rebellion, protest, freedom and spiritual enlightenment. A decade of incredible highs and incredible lows for me. A decade that shaped the next 50 plus years for me. In this December I am wandering through my memories, looking in the nooks and crannies and finding long forgotten events. I am finding memories of the thousands of people I have met in my life, wishing I could have a moment with them again. Unfortunately, that will be an addition to my GARBY Bucket List (my list of things that I want to accomplish but know that there is no way it will happen). Sipping on my French Roast and eating my fritter I continue to ponder things of the world big and small.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Also grant me the good judgment not to ask the genie for a million bucks. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service. Should we meet again -TA!
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