Drivel Over Coffee Issue 237 9/30/2014

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle

HAPPY NATIONAL COFFEE DAY!! (Monday Sept. 29)

Hi Drivellers, thanks for stopping by. Before we begin, let's bow our heads....”Lord, Give me Coffee to change the things I can change, and Wine to accept the things I can't. Amen” Thanks a lot. Here we go.

Coffee in the morning; coffee and a catch up with old friends; going for coffee with your new hot date – we drink coffee morning, day and night with friends, business associates and lovers. You have only to walk down the nearest high street and note the number of coffee chains to realize the extent of our love affair with our favorite caffeinated beverage.

Whether you favor espresso, Americanos, lattes or cappuccinos; iced, decaf, instant or filter – Coffee Day is the day to savor and appreciate your beverage, and maybe even pick one up for free at certain chains in the USA.

Coffee Day also marks the long history of the drink: the properties of coffee beans are thought to have first been discovered in Ethiopia. The story goes that a 9th century goat herder noticed their stimulating effects on his goats and began experimenting. Coffee drinking was originally popularized in the Arab world from around the 15th century spreading across Asia then to Italy and across Europe and to the Americas – and finally to your coffee cup. So when you drink your cup of coffee today, inhale its aroma, taste its dark and full-bodied flavor, think about its story – but most of all enjoy.

My Dad was a Dallas County farmer. That would be in Iowa by the way. He had a dog who used to sit by the gravel road waiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one came he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it. He didn't mind the dust kicked up by the vehicles. One day Cobb, a neighbor, asked my dad "Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?" as they watched the dog tear after a pickup going down the road. They were outside leaning against the side of Cobb's pickup in the driveway. This was almost a daily occurrence. Dad replied, "That is not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would do if he ever caught one." Many people in life behave like that dog who is pursuing meaningless goals.

Indian Mating Season Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo ! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?' The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful woman in there waiting for us.' Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer.. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes, the headdress went flying, moccasins every which way and ran into the opening.

The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!' He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, into the cave he raced, ripping off his shirt as he ran. He had a bit of trouble with the trouser and suspenders. Down he went but he was not about to quit. He bounced up unbuttoning his long johns and off they went. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read.... NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN...........

Want a Quickie? Well, here you go. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body. Or I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Being the IT person in our household is not an attractive label to be saddled with. Yesterday, somehow my current wife lost her password to get into her windows account. No biggie I am thinking so I set about to make a new password. Being an IT type, I document my steps religiously because I know from experience that tech support will want to know what I did when I can't fix the problem myself. Here are the steps I went through.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
Me: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
Me: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
Me: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
Me (slightly agitated): 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
Me (Moderately agitated): 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
Me (Highly agitated): 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
Me (Ballistic): ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
Me: Bam, Bam.......”Hello Toshiba, I need to order a new laptop.....”. I don't like making plans for the day, because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service. – Until we meet again -TA!