“Yippies, Hippies, Yahoos, Black Panthers, lions and tigers alike – I would swap the whole damn zoo for the kind of young Americans I saw in Vietnam.” Spiro T Agnew
BREAKING NEWS: Sam's Club August 22, 2014 – Christmas trees, lights and trimmings on sale. You read correctly. I propose we boycott Sam's Club until November 1st for the purchase of Christmas items. We have to start someplace to let these retailers know that there is a time and place for seasonal merchandise. I hope they get stuck with all of this stuff.
You know how it is when you return from a vacation whether it is short or long? It takes most of a week to get back into the full swing of things. Well this was me for sure. I was sitting reading my papers when my current wife, Sue, walked up behind me and hit me on the back of the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' I asked. Truth be known she had any number of reasons but I needed to know specifically. My wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'. I then said 'When I was at the races up north last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.' Sue apologized and went on with the housework. I proceeded to put an ice bag on my head. Three days later I was watching TV when my current wife once again bashes me on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking me unconscious. Once I re-gained consciousness I asked why she had hit again. I wasn't very polite either. Sue replied. 'Your horse phoned'!
Later, she asked me, “Do you want dinner?” “Sure! What are my choices?” I replied. Sue states, “Yes or no.” Getting banged on the head twice in three days is no fun. I have knots on the back of the head with what is likely a concussion. With Ice bag tied to my head with a dish towel, I take up my usual place in the recliner. I hear her coming and instinctively wince a little. She asks, “What are you doing?” “Oh nothing.” I state in my most dramatic pity evoking voice. Sue asks, “Nothing....? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.” “I was looking for the expiry date.” With that off she goes and the rest of the night is uneventful. I am now sitting on the couch. This way I can see what she is carrying into the family room.
Ah the boys of summer. This past weekend was the annual Cedar Rapids Softball Hall of Fame softball tournament and induction ceremonies. Since 1982, the CRSHOF have held this weekend of softball. It is a really big deal. Many can remember way back when the game of summer was baseball. In our house it was semi-pro baseball that my dad played. When I got to high school, it was town team fast pitch softball. This was a pretty big deal in central Iowa. I played softball on the base teams in the Air Force. Women's fast pitch softball began to rise in popularity in the 70's and 80's. Next was the evolution of slow pitch softball, coed softball and the demise of fast pitch softball. Today, it is primarily slow pitch with most of it being the 16 inch variety. There was a very good team from Marshalltown back again. This team is a wonderful ambassador of the game. They help with the fund raising in a number of ways plus they have a great team. They seem to play for the love of the game which is great to see. I think the team is the Old-timers. As a player and coach of fast pitch softball, I had the habit and yes the reputation of having a hot dog before each game we played. Daughter Debbie and I were lured out there with the promise of hot dogs. My current wife, Sue, who is a member works the event all weekend. Hot dogs were dangled in front of me so I was forced to eat way too many but it was for a worthy cause. That is my justification and I'm sticking to it.
Anyone ready for football to begin? Hey, how do you like this wonderful weather? Iowa weather is probably the most discussed topic in Iowa cafes, elevators and feed stores. Take Sunday for instance. Hot would be a good term. Oh, how about humid? That would be appropriate also. Looking back, this summer has been very good for temperatures. Our moisture has been spotty. That seems pretty normal. I am pretty much a wuss. I like cool summers and warm winters. Anyone have suggestion?
Now for my pet peeve of the day. Years ago in an earlier life form, I had a nifty car, in my eyes anyway. As a teenager I had stuff dangling from the rear view mirror. Shoot we all did. Over the years there has been more and more emphasis by law enforcement and driving safety with an emphasis discouraging any dangling stuff that obstructs your vision when driving. Now today in the twilight of my journey through this world, I see handicap placards dangling from a lot of cars as they are driving. I fully believe we need to help our handicapped peers any way we can.
One of the greatest advantages are the handicapped parking spaces in the parking lots. The spaces are usually near the entrances reducing the distance people have to walk. I do however have an issue with people who leave these hanging from their rear view mirror all the time especially when driving. While driving they block the line of sight quite a bit. In bold print on the placard is the phrase: “This placard shall be displayed only when the vehicle is parked in a persons with disabilities parking space ….....” Now let's get them off the mirrors when driving please. Thank you!
You all remember my grand dogs, Barney & Max. They are really fun loving pugs. Daughter Debby, younger, told me a story about them on our way down to Iowa City for her radiation appointment. She didn't want to tell me but this was a bonding moment, you know. She relates that got out last summer but only for a short time. It seems the pugs wandered down a couple of blocks from the house and into a bar. They sat down at a table and were chatting (in pug of course) when they noticed no one else was wearing a collar. Suddenly, they realized they were in a STRAY bar. Groan!!!
I have covered a lot of different topics in this issue. It is kind of a disjointed discourse for which I apologize. Now that the kids are back in school, I have decided to take a couple of weeks off. I need to recharge a little so I can make a stretch run to the end of the year. I will return on September 9th. I hope all of you can hang in there until then. Just one last thing on this I said – Sue said thing. She asked me yesterday, “What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?” Cripes, one minute she is banging my head with a skillet and the next she is making nicety, nicety. Well, I looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humor!” Wish me luck over the next couple of weeks.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service. – TA!
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