“Old timer's weekends and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.” Casey Stengel
PHEW! What a week. It is good to be home, settled in and rested up, more or less. As much as I protest, it seems as though I am destined to feel comfortable only in my own little rut. This is okay, I guess, but both my bucket list and my GARBY lists keep getting longer. Oh yes, healing nicely, thank you.
My current wife and I are taking a little trip to Ferguson, Missouri. We need a few things and thought we could do some shopping down there. It seems to be the place to be after dark. Just kidding. In what universe can people justify all of the looting and rioting that is going on down there? Doesn't this defy all sense of reason and morality? Blows my mind. Don't get me wrong; a thorough investigation needs to be performed over this shooting. It must be independent, unbiased and factual to get to the truth. Not certain if this will ever happen there and that is very sad.
Yesterday. As is her custom. Sue hauled out her trusty Oreck vacuum to sweep the carpet. I was encapsulated in my recliner going through the morning's emails, messages and Facebook posts. At some point I sub-consciously realized a change in the sound emanating from the Oreck. It was much later that the current wife is lugging this machine and laying it in my lap. She uttered only a few words “the brush stopped turning AGAIN.” Don't get me wrong, she loved this machine but I sensed almost immediately as I regained consciousness from “checking” my emails, that she had reached the end of her rope. I quickly examined the machine and pronounced that it had indeed eaten another belt. It was here that a shopping trip was arranged to purchase a new machine. We now have a Dyson gracing and messaging our carpet.
Question? How do you treat a rash on a pig?
I am starting to feel a little better these days so I took my bike for a ride up and down the street over the weekend. Last summer I reconditioned it – new tires, tune up and bought a helmet for me and my current wife. The thinking was that we could get some good exercise on the bike. This bike was originally daughter Debby's bike she used it on RAGBRAI. It had the handle bars that curled down under. It had the world's hardest seat and the kind of pedals that required special shoes so you could lock your feet in place. The first thing I did was to replace the pedals. I knew for certain that there was no way I was going to go riding with no way to quickly get off the thing. My thinking was right on. My only couple of rides with the bike proved that I had not forgotten how to ride a bike but somewhere I had forgotten how to get off the thing safely.
Over the winter, spring and summer I have been going over the dismount in my mind; several times a day matter of fact. You see last summer my two attempts ended in disaster each time. The first dismount attempt was on my driveway. As I lay in a crumpled mass with the bike firmly planted atop of me, I realized for the first time that I couldn't remember how to get off the thing. I learned also that falling off the bike if better accomplished in the grass than the driveway. So it was with trepidation, nervousness and anonymously that I made an attempt in 2014.The short ride up the street and back went flawlessly with the exception of not being able to hear very well with the helmet on. I didn't “sense” that a dump truck was coming up on my tail. The guy whizzed by at about 500 mph, it seemed like it anyway. He didn't hit me but the wind did brush me to the curb. I coasted along trying to regain control. I looked down at the front wheel as it was riding up the curb and back down and etc. Finally I regained control as I approached my driveway. I wasn't going too fast I didn't think but as I turned into the driveway, I realized that braking should probably occur and rather suddenly. Sensing another ignominious conclusion to a bike outing, I steered off of the driveway into the grass. Well, I didn't as much as steer as I followed where the bike wanted to go. I had slowed sufficiently, I thought I could dismount. I put my weight on my left foot which in turn pushed that pedal to the bottom. Simultaneously, I swung my right leg upwards and backwards over the seat, shifting my weight at the same time. I planted my right foot on the ground behind my left foot what was still firmly planted on the left pedal. Great I thought, I am getting off in one piece. It was at this point in time that my right hand lost grip on the rear brake handle. Instead of coming to a nice stop, I am hopping along on my one foot on the ground heading for the neighbors neatly trimmed bushes.
The two Hotties and the other one that make up the book club ladies of which Sue is a member picked me up. I am uncertain how long I lay on the neighbor's concrete driveway before I was found but I think it was at least a few minutes. Apparently, I missed the bushes, abandoned the bike and it was resting comfortably in the grass. I had learned at least to push away when going down. The book club ladies of Hysteria Lane were fortunately for me meeting to discuss what their next book would be. My wife tells me that they are considering “Neighborhood Safety, First Aid, and Awareness”. The other book under consideration was “Get Out of The Way, I May Hurt You!” I need to practice some more I think before actually riding. My Technique always works in the gym on the stationary bikes. Most of the abrasions are healing but my psyche remains severely bruised.
I went to a 50th class reunion Saturday night. This was my current wife's Jefferson High School reunion. They had great food. It was fun to see some old friends of mine but more importantly it was fun to watch the classmates interacting. I heard one group went out after wards to continue the revelry. I felt like Ricky Nelson did in the song “The Garden Party” – kind of out of place but wanting to be there at the same time. I am an old nostalgia guy. I live in the 60's for the most part. Her class had 460 +/- students and I believe I knew more of these students than were in my graduating class. Yes, a bittersweet celebration, melancholic if you will but it did satiate my reunion desire.
Answer: OINKMENT! Now that is the rest of the story.
You may have noticed that I am approaching my weekly blog length limit so I had best be moving on. Today's blog will be dated today but will not be distributed until Wednesday the 20th. The schedule has been compromised a bit by taking daughter Debby to Iowa City every day for her radiation treatments. They seem to be progressing normally and I love the time we have been able to spend together. It has been a hoot. I just finished my large cup of Fox Hollow coffee at Coffeesmiths. Yummo!!! Until we meet again, keep the rubber side down.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service. – TA!
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