Why
does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish
sandwich and I realize, OMG.....I could be eating a slow learner.
Come on in guys and gals. How has this last week treated you? My week was the same as most weeks – boring. Well, there was Halloween, I guess but we only had about thirty kids. We used to have between 200 and 300 kids. I guess that was thirty some years ago. I think the neighborhood has changed a bit evidently.
Are you caught up using a debit card instead of cash, electronic check writing and letting the bank automate everything? We have which is pretty normal for being a techie freak. That is about to come to an end for me. For many years we have been getting an “e-bill” from our car insurance company that is posted into our bank bill payer account. When it is due, it is paid automatically. No late fees, no handwritten checks, no stamps, and no fuss. Never a problem …... until now. To be on the safe side, I have continued to receive paper invoices. I had received two and put them aside and check in the bank account periodically for the “e-bill” to show up. Never did. I started calling my insurance agent last week to find out what was going on. They promised to get back with me ---- they never did. Today I call the bank. I get stonewalled by them. By now one of these is a day late and the other is due in 2 days. I tossed in the towel and paid them manually. I set up the “e-billing” feature again for them and now will have to wait and see if anything happens.
I am within an inch of pulling everything out of this bank. I am a bit frustrated with them to say the least. This hasn't been the first incident but may be the last. I am considering going to all gold. Not even have a bank account. I wonder how companies will like receiving payment in gold coins? I know it will cut down on my shopping because I couldn't carry enough in my pants to buy anything. Probably would resemble the guy in the song “Pants on the Ground”.
Tonight will be the big night. We have a conference call to get set up with our Medicare supplement and drug plans. We have to convert since the employer contract ran out this year. Not a surprise, just another irritation on my way to heaven.
I have been playing, wait that is wrong, I have been “setting up” my Samsung Galaxy 4S phone for a couple of weeks. It is really fun, ahem, nice. My attention is now turning to resetting my voice mail greeting and am having quite a time deciding what I want it to say and sound like. Do I go with the standard type greeting or do I get innovative? Here are the ones I am thinking about. Let me know if one seems better than the others. I am really on the fence.
1. “Hi, now you say something.”
2. “Hello, I am Doyce's answering machine. What are you?”
3. “Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owner does not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and the carpets are clean. He gives to charity through the office and church and do not need my picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and he will get back with you.”
4. “Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.”
5. “Hi”.
6. Hello, you have reached Doyce. I am not available at this time, so please leave your name, number and brief message”.
Is there any one of these that catches your eye? For me it is a toss-up between number 1 and number 4. There may be a better one out there so if you got one, send it to me.
Can't let you off the hook without a carpentry and dog story. So it is Saturday. My current wife, Jenny, the elder and Debby the younger leave for the Iowa football game in MY car at 7:00 am. My one assigned task for the day is to raise the threshold rubber thingie on Debby's door that I re-did this fall. I set it too low to allow it to go over an area rug. I head over to her house in my current wife's car with tools in the back seat. I don't dare adjust the driver's seat so I am hunched down so my head doesn't hit the roof (that is really saying something because I too am vertically challenged). Off to Debby's house. I arrive in the driveway to a duet of howling pugs. Barney is the baritone and Max is the tenor. I have yet to figure out their song because they are basically tone deaf and can't carry a tune in a water pail. It is funny because the instant the back door opens, no sound. That very instant – from raging howling by 2 dogs being executed to cricket chirping quiet. Amazing. Sorry, I digress. After a meet and greet, potty run and more meet and greet, I get down to business. I lay out my tools on the floor – drill, drill bit, drill bit, screw driver, level and shims. I position myself in a prone position on my right side with my tools between me and the door. About five minutes into this project which will take 15 minutes at the most, I feel something tapping the back of my leg. I swipe at it but feel nothing. Back to work, I begin feeling it again – it is almost rhythmic. Since I didn't do anything about the tapping Max the pug comes around the front of me and stares at my face with this tennis ball hanging out the side of his mouth. Mind you, he is about 6 inches from my face. I called it a tennis ball because that was what it was in an earlier life, now it is more molded rubber with greenish/yellow stuff on part of it and looking gross. Now the position I am in, on my right side causing my head to be laying on my right arm which has gone asleep. My left arm was raised over my head doing the work. This dog just stood there. Finally, I took the so-called ball and through it. Off he went to catch and retrieve. Me – I am back to work. A few minutes pass by and here comes Barney moseying up in front of me. He has decided that I need my face cleaned of sweat since I have been working soo hard. After a few moments, I decided I could work with him still licking. My worker arm(left) is arched over Barney and down to the bottom of the door. I grabbed the drill hoping it would scare him away but he didn't miss a lick. Despite my protestations he went right on licking. I am nearing completion with Barney still licking when there is this thumping on the back of my leg again. Thump, thump, thump, thump. Can't reach the ball behind me and there isn't enough room in front for Max and the ball so I finish up the door adjustment in that position. I am really glad there was no one around to take a photo. When done, Barney headed right for the water bowl to re-juice his licker. And as they say in the cartoons, DA, DA that's all folks. Until we meet again----TA
No comments:
Post a Comment