Trashy Tuesday 11/12/2013

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ― Oscar Wilde

Birth of a New Tradition

Barney was 10 years old last Thursday.

As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods and merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor.  

This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands. Oh.... Yes there is! It is time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper?

Everyone – yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local American hair salon or barber? Gym membership? It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.

Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down the Benjamin's on a Chinese-made flat-screen TV? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.

There are a gazillion owner-run restaurants – all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint.

Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains – this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?

Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip.

And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theater. Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Honestly people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community.

If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.

You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about US (We the People), encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we could not imagine.

THIS is the new American Christmas tradition!!

I was asked to share this piece and decided today would be a good time before we go all gaga with holiday stuff and emotions. We can make a difference. Can't we?

Thank you all who voiced your preference of answering machine messages. It looks like the winner is “Hello, I am Doyce's answering machine. What are you?” This will probably be on my cell phone so give me a call in a day or so.

Have you noticed the weather today sucks! I was forced to put on my winter Trashy Tuesday duds and I was NOT a happy camper. I am just not ready to cope with this weather. I am going back to my bed and curl up in a fetal position and see how long I can hibernate.

I need to give a HUGE SHOUT OUT to Jenny & Debby, the elder and the younger. They honored me yesterday by taking me to the Texas Roadhouse for lunch on Veterans Day. It was a great time and I really appreciate them thinking of me on that day. It is so meaningful because as I age the scars seem to get bigger. So, THANKS A MILLION GIRLS – IT WAS GREAT!!!!

Not to be out done, my current wife has been on a merry go round with all the things she is doing. Church stuff and of course Iowa Men and Women's basketball and football. She did have time to share some things with me. She call it “Did I read that sign right?”

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING 
IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Space and time is limited so I must let you go for today. TA!