Trashy Tuesday 7/30/2013

“Always do right – this will gratify some and astonish the rest.”

Mark Twain

GOOD Morning Drivelholics!!

Oh the pain of it all! Pretty much sums up my morning so far. Just in case y’all didn't know, I had my left knee scoped yesterday. Seems as though I had torn cartilage, some cyst types of thingies and some wavy thingies. Doc took care of it all I am told. He told my current wife and my daughter elder that I had a fine looking knee. I'm pretty proud of that for what reason I don't really know but it is always good to have a “good looking” something. When you get to 67, that is not a phrase heard very often if at all.

All in all, things went well with a couple of exceptions. First, I was told to be there at 5:30 am. Sue, my current wife and I strolled (hobbled) in to St. Luke’s SurgiCare unit at about 5:25 am. Not a single official look individual to be seen. Oh well, I will use the self-check-in machine that was right there at the counter. Oh, no I won't. Big sign – OUT OF ORDER. Okay, be patient and wait. I sit down, hungry and thirsty, of course. Can't eat or drink after mid-night. Had to avoid taking any of the daily meds, so I was just pretty depleted. I especially missed my French Roast. At 5:31 a young gal strolls behind the counter. She looks too young to be anything more than a trainee of some sort. To the counter flock all of the others who were supposed to be there at 5:30. Being a conscientious vet, I let them go first. I just couldn't hobble that fast really. Check in was a snap.

I was the first called and was escorted to the holding room. It was cute; they had my name on the board and various details. Nice touch. Shortly, Debbie, my nurse introduces herself to us plus her son to be born baby. She didn't look to perky so I tried putting her at ease by offering some witticism of one kind or another. It seemed to perk her up. In the setup process, I learned that I am between the small gown and the large gown. I tried both and had to go with the large gown. It was big enough that I could have had a friend in there with me and no one would notice. Decision made. Next biggie concerned my tidy whities – to leave on or go Au naturel. I asked for the pros and cons from the nurse. She was nonplussed by the question and explained. Ultimately, after some thought, I went with leaving the tidy whities on after all these were my special “Big Guy” whities.

I discovered once I laid down and relaxed that I had an issue with gown management. There was so much gown that it was either bound into a ball under my back, pulled tight on one side with a pile of gown on the other side. I couldn't get this right. I suggest to the nurse at one point that they should offer a short “Gown Management” class for newbies. I don't think she understood the extent of the problem. I explained the conundrum to the attendants in the OR. They were pulling my gown from both sides in order stick electrodes on. You know, well maybe you don't, those operating tables aren't very wide. I got moved over and discovered there was no place for my arms. They just kind of dangled down. An aide saw this and put the arm holder brackets on. Now my arms are stretched straight from my side. The last thought I had was “am I getting a lethal injection?” However, I did wake up. Post Op was uneventful except I wanted to get out of there. The leg felt great, I felt a little wobbly but good. Home at noon and FINALLY had something to eat. Of course, my current wife was hovering, insuring that I ate the right stuff, didn't put too much weight on the leg and stuff. Finally being treated like the king I have always been. EDITOR NOTE: In his mind only.

So how did your Monday go? Anything exciting happening in your world? Yea, I know. It is sometimes hard to think of anything. I did have a surprise for the current wife. She was fretting about getting the grass mowed. She can do it but really hurts her back. I surprised by having the Bennink Brothers come over and mow/trim the yard yesterday. They did a great job and Sue was very relieved. Put a big star on my side of the ledger, please.

Since I began talking about the possibility of there being a “stupid” gene, we have been noticing examples of people who have the trait. Actually, it seems to afflict people in various degrees and may be more evident at one time than another. It seems some people may only be carriers. One of the latest examples of stupid has to do with the IRS. Seems they are hiring 200 plus workers to man the phones to help with Obamacare questions. The stupid part is half of these people will only be part time so they won't be eligible for benefits. Hmmm!

You know, I haven't been to the gym for about 2 months now. I am getting anxious to get back there to work out. Everyone there has probably forgotten what I look like by now. I really enjoyed seeing just how much sweat I could generate. It wasn't a good workout unless I was totally soaked you know. Ironically, I have torn the cartilage in both knees at the gym. Is that a sign?

Before I close today, I would like to thank the current wife for her support, Jenny, the elder for overseeing 2 old farts through a relatively ordinary procedure and Debby, the younger for the catered supper meal last night. It was great. Of course, I certainly appreciate all of kind thoughts and prayers from my friends and I think I had some from people who don't even know me. That was nice.

My editors are back at work this week. I guess we survived last week without them but with their return comes the return of the time table that I must work under. I must close for today therefore. I will be convalescing with my leg elevated, ensconced in my recliner, laptop by my side, my nook, idpad, telephone and beverage close at hand. I am ready for FOOTBALL. Until we meet again, TA!