Trashy Tuesday 7/23/2013

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

Martin Luther King Jr.

GOOOD Morning Drivelholics!!

Where to start? Where to start? First, let's give a shout out to those unsung volunteers that get up at dark o'clock to provide goods and services to the RAGBRAI riders. I especially want to mention all of the people in the little town of Minburn. Yep, my home town. Just so happens my sister-in-law had the unenviable task with a few others to put together the offerings provided by this small town south of Perry, Iowa. This is the first town after leaving Perry which was an overnight stop. I haven't heard if she has survived or my brother for that matter. Daughter Jenny, the elder, is on her tee nth something RAGBRAI ride. I am certain, being a veteran rider, she will have a valuable critique of the stop. Her team are not early starters. They tend to sleep in and get a mid-morning start. Anxious to hear. 

 

Naturally, when the elder is out of town, Kinnick the Yellow Lab, is a guest at Grandpa Bailey's Fitness Center and Spa. He arrived Saturday morning and will go home tonight. Being an unrecognized RAGBRAI support vehicle, I will be heading to Des Moines, tonight's overnight stay, to pickup the elder. I will return the rider to her home and her dog this evening. 

 

Hey Grandpa, stop talking about Kinnick all the time. He is just a big old lab full of allergies. Sorry, Drivellers, this is Barney. Yep, the black pug in the picture above. I can only keep my paws off the keyboard for just so long. Grandpa gets focused on one thing sometimes and will just not let go. He wasn't going to tell you that Max and I had an overnight at the Spa. He didn't tell you that we had a great time. Max continues his flirtation with the big girl next door. What a goofus. As soon as we got back home, we had to entertain 2 more big Yellow Labs – Ginger and Bear. Entertaining them was a piece of cake. I would go over and lick their nose once in a while and then I had them eating out of my paw after that. Life is back to normal now at my house. Max continues to be out of control most of the time. He has a ball fetish and drives everyone completely nuts. Hour after hour he wants this stupid ball thrown so he can run and get it. Me, two times is enough. Just doesn't make any sense to me. I would rather spend my day either watching football games or snoozing in my recliner. “My recliner”, you ask? Yes, the leather recliner with blanket is MY chair. Mom and the other guy, Max get the couch. That is just the way it is. Some say, “It's the way we roll!”

Grandpa also won't say anything about getting his knee scoped next Monday. Like I know what “scoped” means. I know he stopped taking a anti-inflammatory pill yesterday because they told him to stop. Now his knee really bothers him. I heard him talking to his current wife about going on a short trip later this week but that may be in doubt now. Did he tell you that his current wife left him? I didn't think so. She skipped out right after church on Sunday with a friend. I subsequently noticed her posting on facebook that she was at Synod school in Buena Vista. I am following this closely. Grandpa doesn't seem to be too concerned though. 

 

Come on Grandpa, let me write some more. …........ Crap!

A thousand apologies folks. I went to answer the door and got tied up with a whipper snapper trying to sell me replacement windows at little or no cost to me if I would be a referral home. He just wouldn't believe me that the windows were only a year or so old. I practically had to “usher” him to the curb. I told him a neighbor down 2 doors needed windows. He finally left running down that way. He may get shot down there. Anyway, when I got back to the laptop, Barney was typing away frantically. He would look over his shoulder once in a while. He looked like a kid getting caught with his hand in the candy jar – and he was right to be concerned. I left his ramblings in just so he wouldn't bite my leg.

The current wife is gone for a week, oh, I see Barney already told you. I had visions of all sorts of exciting ways to entertain myself. Problem is, I didn't write them down and now can't remember what they were. For you young bucks, this happens when you get to be 67. No body warned me either, I had to find out myself. At least I don't think anyone told me. I'm confused, how about you?

Changing direction completely, there are very big things happening in medicine. Have you noticed? What have you heard? Here is what I heard. They can take your stem cells and make some kind of paste, put it on burns and in a few days the burns are completely healed. Amazing. It seems gene therapy is going forward by leaps and bounds. They keep isolating these genes that affect us in one way or another. They have recently isolated a major gene that controls obesity. I will take 2 please – immediately. Wow, how great is that? What about “stupidity” you ask? For a while I have been ranting about how rampant “stupid” is in our society. It is a plague. It exists everywhere and affects all of us. Many of us have been affected to one degree or another. Others are simply “carriers”. Just so you know, help my be around the corner. It seems that scientists believe the “stupid” gene is VERY close to the obesity gene and research on eliminating stupidity in all forms is growing by leaps and bounds. Stay tuned friends. This could be big. Apparently controlled testing is underway right now in Washington DC. Good choice for a test since there is a very high percentage of stupid in that city.

I must sign off for now. I must apologize that my editorial staff is not available this week. It is just me, the big guy. My proofing ability has been compromised by the aforesaid “stupid” gene. Bear with me this week if you can. I should be fully staffed by next week. In the meantime, grab the handle on your coffee cup tightly and gulp down some fresh French Roast. OW! Just a minute.

That is what I did just now – took a big gulp. Whew! I burned the H**l out of my mouth and throat. I forgot that it was “really” fresh and still HOT. These types of things also begin happening more frequently when you get to 67. Until we meet again, have a great week. I am going to the bathroom now to try to figure out how to put a band-aid on the inside of my mouth. Next, surgery update and other humorous things. TA!