“Life is sexually
transmitted”
Thought
for the day: Be who you are
and say what you feel... because those that matter... don't
mind...and those that mind...don't matter!For a second week in a row, I bring you the Drivel Over Coffee Trashy Tuesday post even though it's Wednesday. It seems like only a week ago that I was sitting here writing a new post. Whoa – it WAS only a week ago. Excuse me. Since last we met, we have been very busy here on Hysteria Lane. We seem to have an epidemic going around our church – funerals. We have had 3 in the past week or so. Losses that are hard to cope with and will be dearly missed. The old adage bad news comes in three's, hopefully has been fulfilled. I think we are all still a bit shell shocked.
Trashy Tuesday is what it is – basically smelly. Our wonderful Garbage Gestapo proudly announced that our city is now completely equipped with one man trucks. These trucks zoom up, out come a couple of arms, grabs the container, lift, dump and sit it down again. The driver never has to get out of the seat. This process is predicated on the citizenry placing their containers at the curb correctly. A big assumption. I envision a whole new industry springing up – one that prints the stickers they put on containers that aren't parked correctly. Now we are being told when you have extra garbage and have placed it in an approved plastic garbage bag with the $1.25 sticker on it, you MUST place that bag on top of the GARBY container. I believe the Garbage Gestapo allows us to put out 3 or 4 extra bags if labeled properly. I personally can't get the hang of stacking 4 garbage bags, one on top of the other, on top of the GARBY. I need help. Maybe a bungee cord.
I was at the Senior Center today. Didn't really know much about it and decided that stop in and look around. You know I am 66 years old after all. I saw a sign inviting seniors to take a Health and Safety course. It was to start at 2:00 pm. I checked my watch and I only had a few minutes to wait so I decided to attend. In I go and get signed up. There wasn't a large group – maybe 6 or 8 people. I sat through a nice presentation, didn't learn too much though. At the end we got to take a little quiz over the material that had been presented. There were only 6 questions. For example one question that I remember was “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” I wrote “Fricking' big ones.” Apparently this was the wrong answer. I failed the test. Probably will not stop in at the Senior Center for a while. You know, kind of let the dust settle a bit.
Just heard that Congress is believed to be honest and ethical by 10% of the people polled. They are next to last but just barely. Car salesmen came in last place at 8%. Where have these 10% been – cloistered somewhere with no contact with the media, television, newspapers, computers or anything?
I received an email the other day that had a list of “Paraprosdokians”. I saw the subject line and almost hit the spam button but curiosity got the better of me. I had no clue what a “Paraprosdokian” is. Reportedly Winston Churchill loved these things so I thought “Oh, it's a British thing”. Actually, it is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is unexpected and frequently humorous. Here are a couple for you to see what I'm talking about.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
OK, here is one more:
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Got your Christmas shopping done yet? I don't either. Decorations are not even up yet. Just too busy. I have been ordering on line for the most part. Seems as though getting likes, wants and needs a list from people is like pulling teeth. Not being an overly creative gift shopper, I seem to be stumbling around a bit. I mean what do you get two daughters who have virtually everything a person wants and a wife who seemingly doesn't want anything. Aw, Gift cards! That's it. I will get a bunch of those, wrap them in different size boxes, and weigh them down. Thanks for suggesting that. Here is another idea – the Flexible Hose. I just saw on TV this infomercial about the “Flexible Hose”. All of the girls could use a hose. You even get a 7 way sprinkler when you order. All for $19.95. I can call right now and double my order for only the additional shipping & handling which is probably about $49.95. Might not be a bargain. What do you think?
Have you been following the “Cliff” debate? Let's see, do I prefer tax increases or reduction of deductions? Hmm – this seems to be one in the same. Why does Washington find the concept of “SPENDING LESS” to reduce the deficit such a hard one? These Washington blowhards also want to cut Social Security benefits. Did I not get the memo or what? The last I knew all of us who worked all of our lives contributed our own money to fund our own retirement. Actually, I have seen numbers where it is hard to even live long enough to break even. It depends on a variety of factors and everyone's break-even point is different. But the point is “THEY HAVE ROBBED THE TRUST FUND OF OUR MONEY AND SPENT IT. NOW THEY DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY IT BACK SO THEY WANT TO REDUCE AMOUNT THEY PAY BACK TO US.” It just stinks!!!
Sip, Sip, Sip. There that's better. A couple of gulps of French Roast helps calm my nerves a bit, gets me off the edge of a rant. I'm calm now. I wish I could find those 10% of people who were cloistered somewhere. Actually doesn't seem to be too bad. Maybe they are the smart ones.
What do you know about Hostess Bakery? You may have heard that Hostess Bakery plants shut down due to a workers' strike. But you may not have heard how it was split up. The State Department hired all the Twinkies, the Secret Service hired all the HoHos, the generals are sleeping with the Cupcakes and the voters sent all the Ding Dongs to Congress.
Jenny, the elder, has requested an overnight reservation on Friday for Kinnick. She has got an overnighter planned with some friends. Kinnick and I get along very well. I have learned to talk Labrador so the language barrier is gone. Actually, we have got it down to where a certain raise of an eyebrow, a certain nose bump and etc. and we know exactly what the other is thinking. Spooky. I have actually been pondering off and on of trying to train him to be a therapy dog. My biggest problem is it requires a commitment and I have trouble with long term commitments.
The clock on the wall is screaming at me, saying enough is enough already! I had best close this issue before the current wife comes by. The bloom on the French Roast has faded some time ago anyway. So if we should meet again, say next week, have a great day and a better tomorrow. TA!
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