Thought of the Day: Some stories are true that never happened. -Elie Wiesel, writer, Nobel laureate (b. 1928)
Kinnick and I got our weekly contribution to the Solid Waste Agency to the curb in a timely manner this morning. It was already hot out there. My laptop weather app is reading 80 degrees at 7:00 am. That doesn’t bode well for mid-afternoon. To celebrate our monstrous heat wave, I decided to hold a sidewalk egg cooking contest today on my driveway. All left over foodstuffs will be donated to an appropriate food pantry. Rules are pretty simple. On my “Go” you will crack the shell and drop it directly onto the sidewalk. As soon as the egg makes contact with the sidewalk, a timer will start. When the egg is done, the time will stop. The egg that cooks in the shortest time wins. Simple as that. Oh, there are a couple of other little rules. You must use extra-large chicken eggs. No robin eggs, pigeon eggs just chicken eggs. Artificial heating agents like “Icy/Hot” or Ben Gay are not allowed. The concrete has been scrubbed more or less so sanitation should not be an issue. Lastly, the definition of a “done” egg is this; “the egg shall be considered to have been completely cooked when the egg white is cooked solid AND the yolk is hard. Ties will be broken by a coin toss. There are absolutely no prizes awarded for this event. Paper brow wiping towels will be provided; Entrant must clean up the cooking area when done.
Many of you know the last 2 - 3 – 4 – weeks I have been distributing my 4 cubic yards of pulverized black dirt sitting in my driveway around the yard. When I ordered this dirt, little did I know it would take this long to get it distributed. Of course, I had counted on some help from the family which consists mostly of females. Out of all of the opportunities to help Debby the younger helped one morning until it started to rain. My previous and current wife, Sue, helped as much as her back would allow. Jenny unfortunately has been tied up with various bike rides, 5k runs, and normal chores around home. The heat has caused me to alter my work pattern. Usually, I have been going to the gym first thing in the morning. With the heat and my pile of dirt, I have been spending the first 2-3 hours each morning hauling dirt and sweating. I work until I feel faint, then quit. I figure that is a good indicator of when to quit for the day. The rest of my day is spent drying out. So today, despite Jenny being on RAGBRAI, Warrior Rush, MS Bike ride and etc.; Sue on a weeklong hiatus to Synod school and Debby just being busy, I am trying to finish my pile of dirt today. Congratulations to me, Yeah!
Oh, I could have gone to the Synod School with Sue leaving my pile of dirt in the driveway but after the experiences I had last time, I refused to ever go again. I had trouble with the sheets. They slide off of the mattress. I finally had to duct tape the sheets to the mattress. Then there was the problem with the showers. The problem – they were dinky. To lean over and wash my legs, I had to stick my dripping rear end out of the shower causing water spillage and a slipping hazard. I just couldn’t put up with that again.
I took Sunday off from my duties at church. First day off in about a year I think. Fluffy volunteered to be my replacement. Dutifully, I prepared the presentation to the best of my ability and delivered it to church on Friday. My current wife upon her return from church quickly pointed out that my abilities are not all that good. I made several stupid errors. I can only hope the Fluffy will still talk to me. We will see.
Great week to be on RAGBRAI. You know the bicycle ride across Iowa. Jenny is on it for about the 20th time. I can’t understand how they cope with the heat. They will be here in Cedar Rapids on Thursday for the overnight. The city leaders are all atwitter with the prospect. The leaders have feverishly been cleaning up all areas that may be seen by the bikers. It is a shame we can’t seem to generate the same level of enthusiasm for building a flood wall on the west side of the river like promised. I get so upset with these people that say things they have no intention of living up to.
Word of the Week: fisc
It is reported that some of our leaders are dipping their fingers in our fisc.
Go figure.
I did mention that the current spouse is gone for a week. I also mentioned the sidewalk egg cooking contest. I did not mention the party being held at my house all week. Now we need to keep this quiet so the current spouse doesn’t become the previous spouse, if you know what I am saying. So far Kinnick and I have been having a raucous time. My original intention was to go on vacation someplace myself, hangout and have a good time. The aforementioned RAGBRAI changed that plan drastically. So when presented with lemons, you make lemonade with vodka. Last night we got a little giddy and wrestled on the floor, no holds barred. It got a little X-rated at times. Today, we are planning on doing different kinds of things with the shop vac. Matter of fact, he is standing next to me now wanting to get started. This dog is really a party dog. I think I will get him warmed up with a little run the first thing. I need to wear him down just a bit so I can keep up. Who knows where this party will go when others show up. I did call one of those escort numbers in the paper to add some spice but they didn’t answer. It wasn’t too much later I notice police cars cruising y every once in a while. Don’t think that is a good idea.
At the beginning of any relationship every girl treats her boyfriend as a GOD….. Later on somehow the letters get reversed!!! This just popped into my head for some reason.
No “National Whatever Day” this week. Can’t get to the stupid website. Maybe next week fans.
Kinnick and I were lying in bed the other night. It was so peaceful, quite with a ceiling fan leisurely spinning overhead. I remember just before drifting off to sleep the phrase “Hello darkness my old friend” popped into my head. No idea where that came from but I remember thinking that that line from Simon & Garfunkel’s hit “Sounds of Silence” was a pretty profound statement. Interesting? Do you suppose you can flip a toaster on its side and grill cheese in it? Also, why do the toasters have a dial that allows you to set the doneness to char? Anyone know of a use for charred toast? I discovered a while back when wrestling with Reynolds Wrap to unroll it and cut if off without it ending up in a ball that there are tabs on each end of the Reynolds Wrap box that when pushed in, actually keep the roll in the box. Who Knew? I discovered on the internet someplace that marshmallows can cure a sore throat. I probably will have forgotten this one before I have a sore throat.
Business has really been slow at Grandpa Bailey’s Doggie Fitness Center and Spa. So much so, I have begun to wonder if I should continue on with it. This thought was only heightened when one of the old ladies came in who belonged to the ETIVERP canasta card club. The Spa originally was home of this all women canasta card club. Life was good when they were there. Not much trouble; oh sure you would have an occasional trip over a walker or a spilled beverage but all in all pretty cool chicks. It all fell apart when the group decided to go on a bus tour to the New England area. While there they became addicted to the casinos. They actually did very well. So well, they ended up purchasing their own casino. There they stayed and hence my building was sitting vacant. Hence the rise of the fitness center. Well, over time some of these ladies have filtered back into the community having become disillusioned with the casino life. I will continue discussions with the ladies and see where it goes.
I broke down the other day and purchased my own coffee grinder. I haven’t used it yet though. In my usual high degree of planning, purchased a pound of French Roast already ground a couple of days before I purchased the grinder. Doesn’t make much sense does it? Well, the coffee is gone and my drivel is getting dry. Why does your mouth get dry when you write? It gets dry as if you were giving a speech. Why is that? Anyway, I have to go and move more dirt. BTW, Fisc means “A state treasury; exchequer”. Until you catch me again – TA!
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