Sorry I missed you guys last week. I was getting over a five day marathon with a stomach virus that was really nasty. Won't go into details but trust me, you don't want it. In the meantime, my current wife celebrated her wedding anniversary to me. I took her shopping for most of the day, followed by a stimulating evening with our church friends and closed by a going away party for a family friend. All in all, not too bad for 45 years.
The unthinkable happened at church on Sunday. Fluffy was on the sound board, I was manning the laptop video presentation. About 5 minutes into the service the sound system went completely dead. Pastor Tim was battling a cold and was a bit hoarse, the scripture reading was scheduled for 3 voices, and we had additional hearing impaired users. When the sound goes down, big voices are needed. Quick troubleshooting indicated that we had plenty of Gazingas but no Gazoutas. That is technical talk so don't worry about understanding, just know we had no sound. Fluffy and TB quick like bunnies raced downstairs, grabbed the portable PA system, halted the service for a moment to get it setup and away the service went with amplification. The service was saved thanks to the quick thinking of those 2 guys. Yesterday, Fluffy and I spent the morning figuring out what went wrong. All of the Gazinga appeared to be just fine. The Gazoutas was the problem. One of the fancy gizmos (another technical term) appeared dead. Closer examination revealed it had an in line fuse which looked good but we decided to replace it anyway. BAZINGA, an expression for accomplishment, that appeared to solve one of the problems. We encountered 3 more problems in the process and corrected everything. Fingers crossed for next Sunday.
Ready for more idiosyncrasies of the English language? Here are some anyway.
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean
them? - If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
Senior News: This just in from the wires. "To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ... oh, crap ... I'll see you on the bus!" I doubt that this is really true, but on the other hand, who knows. Controlling the illegal immigrants isn't going all that well.
On the subject of things you have wondered about for a long, long time but where afraid to ask, my research on Flatulence I have discovered an interesting fact. This data was buried in a long forgotten research paper form the 30's or so. Research tells us that we probably pass gas 14 times per day as part of the digestive process. I was way wrong with my guess. Speaking of gas, the Apollo 11 lunar module landed on the moon with just twenty seconds worth of fuel remaining. No second chances on that landing.
I had an appointment in Coralville this morning. I asked Jenny, the elder, if she would like something from the New Pioneer Health Food store. Why she would love some fresh peanut butter. Oh goody
It is now supper time at my house. I am having breaded haddock squares, potato and fruit. Yum, have to cover up the taste of those haddock squares somehow. Maybe a bottle of wine would work better. Anyway, I have to wrap this thing up for today. I got a lot of flak last week by not getting my blog out so I can't let that happen again. So we sadly say goodbye to J, the beagle lady, who is moving to a new career in Illinois. With fondest wishes on this Valentines Day, I bid you a fond TA!
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