TGIF (Thanks Gang, I'm Flatulante)

You know that you are either "blessed" or "cursed" when you receive not 1 but 2 "Drivel Over Coffee" blog issues in the same week.  I feel energized now that I am 66.  The pressure of being 65 was almost more than I could take.  You may have noticed that I was a little out of sync toward the end of my 65th year in this world, I was really dragging.  That was until I realized today is the oldest you've ever been, yet the youngest you'll ever be, so enjoy this day while it lasts so let's get to driveling.

As Debby, the younger, blabbed on Facebook, I was honored with an Apple iPod Touch given to me from my female family members.  Well, to be accurate, they are my only family members.  That may explain why I have had to turn to blogging.  I am totally outnumbered and out voted by a 3 - 1 margin on everything.  The presentation occurred at the conclusion of our meal at Texas Roadhouse.  I stuffed my body with steak and potatoes but not desert.  I could not hold any more.  You know every time you go to the Texas Roadhouse, you are overwhelmed by the noise.  So much so, you can hardly hear each other talk.  You also get accustomed to walking on peanut shells.  Holy peanut allergies!  Our visit this time was unusual because the noise level was really tolerable.  Texas Roadhouse it seems had substitute a high noise level for swiveling benches.  Our bench seat, which is connected to one in the next booth moved so much that I started getting a little sea sick before I got some food.  Kind of reminded me of trying to eat on that cruise liner that went aground in Italy.  Every time one of the six people, three on our side and three behind us, would move, our bench would pitch up and down and move back and forth.  Made for an aggravating time.

I have been a huge anti-Apple advocate for the better part of 40 years or whatever.  I have never liked their closed architecture design.  Effectively locking users into related products making it nearly impossible to break away from their products regardless of their value.  I call this "electronic handcuffs".  Great for Apple marketing but doesn't do any favors for the consumer.  Believe it or not this is my FIRST Apple product that I have ever owned.   I had wanted to publish my blog yesterday but my day was totally consumed with iPodding.  I played with this so long that I got cramps in my hand from holding it.  It looks pretty darn cool, if I do say so myself.

Last night I had to take a break so my current wife, you may know as Sue, and I went to an orientation for a local humane society.  Well, I ended up signing up to be a volunteer.  I am kind of excited about being able to help the less fortunate puppies.  I have a jilted view with the operation of the fictional Grandpa Bailey's Doggie Fitness Center and Spa.  It caters only to the affluent puppies which limits my clientele.  There was actually a large crowd of volunteer wannabes.  I would expect a large number of those in attendance will not follow through but that is to be expected.  My next step is to receive a tour and some specialized training over the next week or so.  Could be a new adventure.

I had such a positive response to a list in my blog of a couple of weeks ago, that I thought it would be appropriate to give you a few more.  These are for those of you who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English:

• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
• Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
• If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

We have had a bit of discussion at church over a Bunn coffee pot that had been donated.  The Bunn pot is one where water is kept warm 24/7 so that coffee is available almost instantly.  Presbyterians like their coffee only slightly less than a good ole potluck dinner.  We have several cavernous percolators that hold something around a 100 gallons a piece.  At least it seems that big when filling with water.  They take about a fortnight to brew insipid coffee, both caffeinated and decaffeinated.  The discussion has swirled around whether to leave the Bunn plugged in because of the amount of electricity it would use just sitting there.  Well, my friends I would proffer two solutions, first, I will donate the amount of extra electricity it will consume and secondly, I would suggest the use of a timer.  A timer will eliminate the evaporation of the water when not used for a number of days at a time.

Speaking of energy.  Why is it that our country year after year agonizes over our high usage of energy? Every dipstick in Washington DC pontificates about how we must lower energy usage, get away from foreign reliance on oil, and develop alternative power sources and yadda, yadda, yadda.  In the case of oil, why did we nix the latest pipeline? A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.  Well, there's a very simple answer.  Nobody bothered to check the oil.  We just didn't know we were getting low.  The reason for that is purely geographical. 

Our OIL is located in: ALASKA, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal Louisiana, Coastal Alabama, Coastal Mississippi, Coastal Texas, North Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and Texas.  Our dipsticks are located in DC.  Any Questions? NO? Didn't think So.

Have you had enough yet?  I suspect you had enough drivel before you even started reading this one.  I wanted to welcome M, the slot lady, to our blog readers.  She doesn't quite understand just how ridiculous this thing can become.  Welcome aboard slot lady!  Let's give a shout out to all of those who rescue puppies, volunteer or own rescues.  Very rewarding experience.  Instead of French Roast today, I tried "Sumatra" from Starbucks in my fancy French Press.  It was pretty strong stuff so I will probably just revert to my good old standby - French Roast.  Yummy in the tummy.  Enough for now, till Trashy Tuesday, take care and as Fluffy says, "Stay thirsty my friends".  TA!