Trashy Tuesday - Ho! Ho! Ho!

Goodness Me, Christmas already.  Okay, let's check the list - Online ordering - done!; Jenny, the elder, present - done!; Debby, the younger elder, present - done!; Sue, my current wife, present - done!; Kinnick, Barney, & Max presents - done!; Yvette, big blue eyes, fruit cake - done!; stocking stuffers - done!.  Hey, I think the main stuff is done and I still have a few days to supplement those gifts with other needless and probably useless things.  Tree is up, lights on, timers sync'd, mantle goodies up, stockings hung, dinner menu fixed.  Only need to hit the grocery store one, two, okay maybe three more times.

I usually pause this time of year to reflect on my 65 years of life and the thousands of people I have met and who have influenced me.  I am especially have a warm spot for my classmates.  I spent the first 18 years or so with them.  We grew up together, shared experiences, hung out with each other, learned together.  In our farming community, we not only were friends but our families were friends and neighbors.  What a fantastic environment. I am still in touch with many of these friends. Pretty cool.  Of course, I extend all my Christmas wishes to them and their families.

Crap - oops, I mean hang on a minute.  It is 6:50 am and I don't have the trash out yet.......... Okay, I am back.  Everything is out there now.  A rather curious thing happened today.  Over the past couple of weeks, I have noticed a slow moving car or two going past as I take my landfill goodies out to the curb.  Clad in my flip flops, sweat pants, hooded sweatshirt, and Eskimo hat( fur lined & ear flaps)  which is my normal, no snow, winter attire.  I figured the Garbage Gestapo was running a rolling check of garbage containers that have not been put out on time.  I have heard they run in pairs - one checking the left side of the street and the next car checking the right side.  So, I didn't really think too much about it until this morning.  I found out these drive-by's weren't the Gestapo at all. Instead, it was sightseers.  They were snapping photos of yours truly obediently delivering my weekly donation to the curb.  I have attached the photo of myself with the hat and my current wife we used on our Christmas card below.  My current wife is especially alluring. She just had a facial and some botox injections.  Not sure where the injections were however.

Good lookers - don't you think?

I would like to pass along Christmas wishes to all of our gym and Silver Sneakers friends.  Our instructors, Babs & Kay have put up with me for a couple of years now.  Even though I try my best to disrupt the class, they have not tossed me out yet.  Perhaps it's because Franz tends to out disrupt me.  Thanks to all for their patience.  I trust the holidays will treat you kindly and only add 5 lbs. to the waist line.  Remember, Babs and Kay are ruthless after a holiday.  Enjoy!

I would also like to pass along the very best of Holiday wishes to my Men's Breakfast partners in crime.  I know these guys will over indulge without me reminding them.  So, my wish to them is to have an extra hole in your belt.  Charles, not his real name, and Starbucks Johnny I wish continued periods of sanity.  Charles is one of the few people I have seen get drunk on fudge.  Starbucks Johnny has not missed a pot luck in a long time.  And to all of the lovelies in our church( which happen to be all of the females and Terrance with his "stash") a very Merry Christmas to all and to all a......whatever.  I forget!

Unfortunately, folks I must once again suspend writing my Christmas Wish Blog.  I have some errands to run and I have to get back so I can chauffeur my current wife to the head shop (beauty salon).  Why do they call it a beauty salon?  Is it for people seeking beauty?  Is it a place where you are transformed into a beauty?  And how do I shop for beauty?  Is it in the eye of the beholder?  Sorry, I got off a tangent.   I will, unfortunately, return.


Like it or not, I have returned.  I delivered my current wife to the beauty salon.  After about 2 hours, she emerged, downcast.  They had not been able to find any beauty.  It gets harder as you grow older.  I am not going to bore you with a word of the week this time.  You have enough on your mind and don't need that trivial minutia.

In closing some of you may have heard that Iowa is playing football in the Insight Bowl again.  Just so happens that daughter Jenny, the elder, has a pair of tickets available.  Let me know if you are interested, let me know and I will get you in touch.  Great time to go see the Hawks play and to relax in the warmth of the Southwest.  The French Roast is long gone.  The caffeine buzz is gone.  All that is left is my afternoon meditation session in the recliner.  Until we meet again, my friends, MERRY CHRISTMAS one and all!!!! TA!