“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain
Heads Up! Do not, I repeat DO NOT eat bat meat. I know some of you love it but apparently that is the origins of the Ebola Virus. You should also avoid all belfries.
Hi Drivellers, Give a big: Yippee” because it is finally “National Reptile Day”. It only comes once a year. Reptile Day promotes awareness of all things reptilian, encouraging learning about different types of reptiles, their natural environments and ecological challenges. Be sure to give a hug to your favorite Squamata today. No, Frank, I did not say “Squaw Momma”. Put your hearing aids in will you?
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a lizard in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you" "In that case," said the boy. "I'll kiss its butt and let it go"
Every two years I have a hankering to drop off the grid. You know, just get lost, go away, and become unlisted everywhere. Since I have retired I have analyzed this feeling that comes over me. I realized that my drop out desire coincides with the election season. With a couple of weeks to go, my level of tolerance is somewhere below zero. I think my tolerance is somewhere near absolute zero (-400 degrees or something). UGH!!! Can't stand it anymore.
Over the course of this year I have also reflected on parts of my youth with a focus on my 50th anniversary of my graduation from high school. I have also shared stories passed around by various members of my family. I hope you have enjoyed those moments because today will be no different. On this day in 1964, at the top of the Hits on Billboard was Manfred Mann's “Do Wah Diddy Diddy”. There was not one Beatles song in the Top 10. Yeah!
In one of my earlier life forms, I decided to go to medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the letters P N E I S and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest of us are writing blogs and are on Facebook. Did you see an “MD” after my name? I thought not. You may also note who is writing a blog.
A young blonde/brunette girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me? Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house??? "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded. The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde/brunette jokes."
A few hours later the blonde/brunette came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already??" the startled husband asked. “Yes," the blonde/brunette replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip. "Thank you," the blonde/brunette said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus." Groan!!!! The last “blonde” story I included generated a lot of flak from my blonde friends. It was one of those “Unintended Consequences” we hear about in the news. This time you probably have noted that I tried to offend both the blonde friends as well as the brunettes.
On Facebook I found a classmate that I hadn't heard from for probably 30 years or more. Larry was always a great kid. He went to school in a neighboring town. We competed against each other in sports and double dated a lot. I kind of lost track of him as well as others when I went into the service. We have started exchanging emails and catching up like long lost brothers. He reminds with each post just how funny he was in school. He has shared many antidotes several of which I thought you might enjoy..
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
His math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 7 and 9 and 12?' Larry quickly replied, 'CBS, NBC, ABC and Public Television!'
Then there was the field trip. Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?" That was a typical Larry question.
Lastly, Larry related that he watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?' BAZINGA!
Questions for you to ponder this week.
Is there another word for synonym?
When two left-handers have an argument who is right?
If practice makes perfect, and no one's perfect, why practice?
If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear it, why was there a tree in the kitchen?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea, does that mean 1 person enjoys it?
Is rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
In leaving today, let us remember to give thanks to our coffee purveyors for supplying us with delicious blends of beans that is French Roast. There is no better.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service. – Until we meet again -TA!
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