Good Dudes and Duchesses,
Trashy Tuesday coming at you once again. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. LOL! I have several things on my plate today, - chocolate chip cookies, fudge and etc. No, no, no just kidding. First, I am sporting brand new sound receiving devices that attach to my ears. These are really cool. You may know them by their common name – hearing aids. These are like the Binford 9000 models. About the only thing they don't do is make coffee. They are Bluetooth capable so I can connect to any Bluetooth device. Wired for sound I am. Please note the sign above. I am short on coffee so take heed.
Went over to the care center the other day to visit my old friend Franz. I haven't know him that long, he is just old. LOL! I had visited him previously so I knew where his room was. He had been sentenced there for physical therapy on his hip after a fall. As I approached his room, I paused briefly to get my happiest happy face on to brighten his day. I opened the door quietly; entered the room and there he was laying on the bed with his back to me; covers up over his head. Thinking I would gently jolt him into consciousness, I shouted, “HI FRANZ!” Up like a shot he jumped in bed to a sitting position. The covers falling away as he did. It was only then that I realized that this gray haired 80's ish lady that I was looking at was not Franz. I gave a startled ugh, uttered something completely stupid and made a hasty exit. So much for my attempt at good cheer. I removed myself from the establishment quickly and went home. For those of you wanting to know, “No, I didn't tell my current wife.” The next day in Silver Sneakers class I learned that he had been released and went home a couple of days before my visit.
In an earlier life form, I had been known to partake of a glass (bottle or bottles) of wine, Don't do that so much any longer. So to my friends who enjoy a glass of wine and those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand, I have done a little research on wine and water. Ben Franklin said: “In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria.”
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop annually. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of S@#t.
I have really gotten disillusioned with the state of our society. Many of the values we grew up with here in the heartland seen to have been lost. Was it because we were lousy parents? Did we overlook teaching our off-spring things like morals, the constitution, and honor of country, forefathers, and one another? Could we have actually missed those things? Well, I suppose we could have and maybe did, I mean after all, we had those protesting the Vietnam War and those of us who returned only to hide the fact we fought in the war. It has taken 50 years to come out of that closet. We impeached 2 presidents. One resigned office. Our democracy it seems has been on a downward slippery slope. I don't think we did that bad of job. I blame technology. Yes, the information age. It was supposed to eliminate the need for paper. We use more paper now than ever before. It has just created new job opportunities for hackers, identity thieves and such.
I think we are facing a generation with a disproportionate share of stupid people. You have seen shows or interviews with the people on the street. OMG!!! How do we purge our society of these people? Most seem beyond retraining. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out over time.
I get upset with “those” people when I drive around town. They have their seats pushed all the way back and are slumped down behind the steering wheel. They putz along weaving in and out of traffic like they own the place. I have taken the bull by the horns so to speak. Personally I have changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
Big, big news on Hysteria Lane this week. The Hotties Book & Gossip Club (HBGC for the insiders) have decided to sponsor a large trash bin. Rather unusual thing to sponsor but then again these ARE rather unusual ladies. It will be on display here on Hysteria Lane as I understand for about 10 days. Why, I am not really certain but I just suspect that I will not like it. It probably involves something I am loathe to – WORK! I have no idea if it is to be decorated, if there is a charge for viewing or anything like that. Plans are being held close to the chest. Sorry, poor choice of words – should be vest or something.
Meanwhile, at my humbling estate, we are looking forward to the delivery of river pebble landscaping rock. Many of you will remember the dump truck load of dirt on my driveway a couple of years ago. We now will have rock. My current wife expressed a desire, well not so much a desire but a deeply felt opinion that the wood mulch should be removed and replaced with rock. I looked around at who was going to do that and found no one. Surprise, Surprise. I let it be known that my used mulch would be available. Low and behold, Charles, not his real name, from church indicated he wanted it for the church garden. He actually came over and helped remove it. As a way of showing his appreciation, he gave me a walking tour of the garden; showing me how they used my old mulch. I was impressed. One of the walkways was even named “D. Bailey Way” to honor my contribution. Isn't that just sweet!!!
Should we meet again either here or in the after world, take care, stay low and smile – you may be on Candid Camera.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service. – TA!
No comments:
Post a Comment