Trashy Tuesday 3/25/2014

"Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.

Ernest Hemingway

 

Once again, Good Morning to all that have decided to take a moment with their favorite cup of coffee and subject yourselves to this week's Drivel.

At the outset let me state “A Rash of Good Luck”.

 

Many of you know that my current wife and I attend an exercise class called “Silver Sneakers”. That is a code name for old fogies and those that happen to be sadly out of shape for whatever reason. I happen to fall into both categories. It is described as low impact exercises but doesn't seem that way once you get a chance to sit down and your rear end drops at the speed of light onto the chair (on a good day). However, sometimes there is more going on in class than one might have suspected. The next time you go to your workout class, covertly and very discretely observe those around you. Pay particular attention to those who appear to be straining with each movement. This has happened to me and I am certain it happens to others also. Sometimes in work-out class I pretend to work-out, when I'm using every muscle in my body to keep from farting. If it happens to me, it may be happening to others but it still is some type of isometric work-out isn't it?

A member of our class related a story to me last week that I felt I just had to share. I will call this friend Mr. Tell. It seems as though years ago, Mr. Tell was working in a factory as a janitor type person on a night shift. The women working the night shift on the first floor would use the second floor restroom because the ones on the first floor were closed. Mr. Tell was attempting to clean the ladies room on the second floor one night when a young lady needed to use it. Mr. Tell excused himself to the outside until she left. Back to work Mr. Tell goes. Within minutes another young lady needed the facility. Once again Mr. Tell went outside until she left. No sooner had he gotten back to work in the ladies room, another lady came up to use it. Being the gentleman Mr. Tell is, he excused himself once again. This routine happened several more times. Finally Mr. Tell was cleaning the sinks and mirrors when he noticed his beautiful colorful flowered boxer shorts showing quite starkly through his pants that should have been covered by a zipper. The women on the night shift gave poor Mr. Tell a lot of ribbing over that.

In 1964, we were all getting spring fever about this time of the year. Some were looking forward to the Senior Prom and getting outside for track and baseball practices. But in our small town we had an outdoor roller skating rink. It was the major draw for kids all summer long. It seemed like it was huge like a basketball court or a football field when I was a kid. Boy did we have fun. It was open on Wednesday and Friday nights. You didn't just skate. They had different types of skating for groups; like the “midnight skate” where only boy/girl couples were aloud out there. Sometimes there would be a limbo contest or some speed skating contest. It was just a whole lot of fun. I have naturally gone back home many times since those days and it seems to shrink with each visit. I wonder why that is. I have such great memories of those Wednesdays and Fridays. Miss them a lot. Oh, and the music playing was …...... yep, you guessed it, 60's tunes like this week's Billboard Top Ten. And the Beatles continue to dominate.

1. She Loves You by the Beatles
2. I Want to Hold Your Hand by the Beatles
3. Twist and Shout by the Beatles
4. Please Please Me by the Beatles
5. Dawn (Go Away) by the 4 Seasons
6. Fun, Fun, Fun by the Beach Boys
7. Suspicion by Terry Stafford
8. Hello, Dolly! by Louis Armstrong
9. My Heart Belongs to Only You by Bobby Vinton
10. Glad All Over by the Dave Clark Five

Last week during work-out class all that was played were my beloved 60's songs. I was moving and groovin' as I tried to keep up with the exercises. What a blast.

Franz, a geezer I know, shared an experience he had several years ago. As he said, “In and earlier life form”. Seems as though one evening a knock at the door aroused Franz from a little rest period after supper. Franz goes to the door and opens it. Standing on the porch was a guy that is just soaking wet. It happened to be raining cats and dogs out. He asked Franz if he could get a push. Franz hesitated and rightfully so. He didn't want to go out there in the rain. The man continued to plead. Franz relented. On with the 5 buckle overshoes, his raincoat and hat and out the door they go. They walk a ways when Franz asks just were his car is. The guy says, “What car? I needed you to push me on the swing!” IN THE POURING RAIN? Around he turns and clomps back home shaking his head. They still have not isolated the “Stupid” gene yet. Can they please hurry? Franz was, how shall we say..... not pleased.

Wasn't last week a great week with St. Paddy's day and all? I bet a lot of you celebrated didn't you. My celebration was confined to rolling out of the bed in the morning and being able to stand up. That reminds me. My love/hate relationship with my CPAP machine continues. I almost strangled myself two nights ago. I turned over the wrong way and wrapped the hose around my neck. A long talk yesterday with my brother only confirmed that I will get used to it. Why can't it get used to me instead?

Remember my opening statement above? It was the answer to this question from last week. Do you know what you get when you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover? Yes, you caught me, I forgot it last week.

In closing this week, what will I do now that Will Gardner is no longer on the “Good Wife”. Were you as surprised as I was? Wow! I really have to get this to the editors, we will see you next week, TA!