Trashy Tuesday 2/4/2014

 

I believe there are more instances
of the abridgment of the freedom
of the people by gradual and
silent encroachments of those
in power than by violent and
sudden usurpations.

James Madison

Hey, how is it going Drivellers? 

 

Had a birthday Saturday. I'm 68 now. I was just beginning to feel comfortable at 67. Now I have to learn how to behave at another new age. It seems like only a year ago that I was 67. Boy, how time drags on the older you get. I celebrated with breakfast at IHOP with daughter Debby and my current wife. I had the 'seniors' special” with two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good”, I said. “But I don't want the eggs.” “Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned me. “You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?” I asked. Incredulously, “YES!!” stated the waitress. “I'll take the special then.” I said. “How do you want your eggs?” the waitress asked. “Raw and in the shell,” I replied. We then took the two eggs home. 

I then took the opportunity to use my snow blower. Always a special treat!!! My current wife left me, not forever, just to go to the Iowa Women s basketball game. That was my opportunity to take a birthday nap, which I did. Upon her return, we picked up daughter Debby and went over to Cafe deSchaub for birthday supper. Cafe deSchaub is Sven's home so don't go trying to find it. He and Jenny, the elder, prepared a feast for me that included organic Rib Eye steak, corn bread, potatoes, mac and cheese and corn. The dessert was a decedent chocolate, chocolate cake from New Pioneer Coop in Iowa City. I had a big satisfied food coma induced smile. What a way to go. By the way, they are good cooks as is daughter Debby. I worked off most of the thousands of calories by yelling at the referees while we watched the Iowa – Illinois men's basketball ball game. The heart attach I felt coming on was averted finally as Iowa pulled out a win in the last minute or so. So in the end, life was good.

Thanks to all that extended birthday wishes. They are greatly appreciated. The threats extended are being ignored for the moment. The email and social media birthday wishes were all very gracious. Not quite the same with the cards I received. Here are a couple of examples.

“On your birthday, remember, with age comes wisdom” said by a guru type guy on the front. On the inside is says “Which explains why you're such a wise ass.”

Then there was this one; Old bearded man seated next to his wife says, “The Lord must be watching over me. Every night when I get up to pee, I open the bathroom door and he turns the light on. When I close the door, he turns the light off. I must be blessed.” The wife says with a straight face. “You're not blessed....”.On the inside of the card she continues, “You’re peeing in the fridge.”

Those were the general tenor of the card I received. I also received a card from “Jim”. Presumably a member of our church since he wrote “From all of your good friends at Christ Church Presbyterian.” Very nice and fancy card and I really appreciated it but we don't have a “Jim” in our church. I suspect there may be a bad fish in my creel. Last year I received a strange card also. Should I be getting paranoid? Am I being stalked? Could it be that some sweet thing is desirous of me but can't come forward? No that can't be it. Cripes, who would be interested in a short, fat, balding 68 year old geezer except the mortician?

I am so glad I devoted half of my Sunday with the Super Bowl hype and game. Debby the younger and her pugs came over. We consumed a Super Bowl amount of food then left the game mid-third quarter to the SeaHawk fans. It was a good time to switch over to Downton Abbey. I wish the Bronco's would have brought the first team. I don't know who those idiots were out there. I was about as equally underwhelmed by the commercials. Budweiser came through and cheerios was cute but the others didn't amount to much. Maybe the really good ones will be during the Olympics. On second thought, probably not.

I ran across a story from the Rev. Joe Hopkins, New Wilmington, PA about an old guy who went to the Super Bowl. A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there. "No," the man replied, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the first man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?" The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else – a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral." 

We all have a period of reflection when we reach some of life's milestones. At 68, I decided to do some reflection. My first reflection was that Iowa winters suck. Cold, warm up, snow, cold, warm up, snow and so on. Second, was the Medicare supplement insurance choice that included gym memberships. We now go to the gym as often as we want and doesn't cost us anything extra. Third, I decided since reflection number 1 impacts reflection number 2, I need an alternative exercise plan since the Doc told me to start an exercise program. So not wanting to harm my old body, I've devised the following:

Monday: 1. Beat around the bush; 2. Jump to conclusions; 3. climb the walls; 4. wade through the morning paper.

Tuesday: 1. Drag my heels; 2. push my luck; 3. Make mountains out of mole hills; 4. hit the nail on the head.

Wednesday: 1. Bend over backwards; 2. jump on the band wagon; 3. run around in circles.

Thursday: 1. Advise the President on how to run the country; 2. toot my own horn; 3. pull out all the stops; 4. add fuel to the fire.

Friday: 1. Open a can of worms; 2. put my foot in my mouth; 3. start the ball rolling; 4. go over the edge.

Saturday: 1. Pick up the pieces.

Sunday: 1. Kneel in prayer; 2. bow my head in thanksgiving; 3. uplift my hands in praise; 4. hug someone and encourage them.

This just may be better than the Silver Sneakers program or maybe we seniors could do both. I may be onto to something. The French Roast really does come through sometimes – brings a clarity of thought. As I live my dream in the sixties – TA!