Be
careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark
Twain
Hey, you born in a barn or what? Shut
the door and windows it's cold outside. Good Grief! Oops, sorry
current wife. You say the door is closed and the so are the windows.
OMG not only cold outside but darn right nippy inside. I would like
to say that I would like to hang the idiot who dreamed up the “Wind
Chill” thingie by his thumbs. I don't want to know that it feels
like 45 degrees below zero. I mistakenly sent the current wife out to get the mail today. I told her to put on some warm clothes. I continued my meditation in the recliner. After a time I realized she had not returned with the mail yet. I went to the front window and there she was frozen to the driveway about half way back in. She had the mail in one hand and she looked a little cold. Her breath had frozen just as it left her mouth. Not a pretty sight. Quick like a bunny, I got my clothes on, grabbed the two wheel cart on the way out of the garage. Once I got to her, I had to shake her a little to break her foot loose from the driveway. I slid the two wheel cart under her feet and wheeled her inside. I propped her up against the coat rack so she could thaw. I didn't want her to thaw too quickly because I think that is bad for you. Once she could talk, I gave her some hot chocolate. She seemed appreciative. BTW, the mail – all junk mail. What a waste of the current wife. She seems to be alright now, limps a little and shivers once in a while. I would take her to the doctor but don't know if I have insurance. Oh well, so it goes.
How were the holidays for you? Hope you all had a great time because I didn't. Oh, Christmas was great but that was it. Baby sat Kinnick the Lab while Jenny the elder went to the stupid Iowa bowl game. (Note to self – NEVER GO TO LOUISANA FOR ANYTHING). That was pretty much the highlight. Debby the younger kept me company as we worked on a traditional 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle and ate leftovers for a week. I did attend the Silver Sneaker class at the gym a few times. It was good to see old friends. A lot of them acknowledged my presence but started moving to other parts of the room. I asked my current wife if it was my deodorant and she said no – you didn't put any on. (Note to self – Always check for body odor before going to the gym.)
Hey, how
about those New Year's resolutions? I would love to hear some of
yours. My current wife hasn't shared hers with me perhaps because I
had the nerve to post mine on Facebook. “What's that? You didn't
see it? Okay, okay, quiet down, here goes.” What I posted was “My
New Year's
Resolution – I resolve to not get any body waxing for 2014. At 67
(almost 68), I just don't feel the need.” I
also mentioned that I retired my speedo. 67 year old male waxing and
wearing a speedo. Yes, I know pretty darn disgusting image isn't it?
Had to do it though, the speedo had a hole in it. The waxing thing
was a fad for me. Just had to do it to get a sense as to whether I
wanted to try a “NoNo”. The hair removal device “as seen on
TV.” My brother waxes the crown of his head but he won't admit to
it. It is so bald you can see your reflection in it. We had a
discussion about that at Thanksgiving time. You see he is 11 years
younger than me. I am thinning but not bald.
More breaking news. “Greetings from Rudolph” surfaced this year at Christmas. Debby the younger was the recipient of this coveted gift. Don't have a clue what I am talking about do you? Somewhere around 1970, I purchased two gifts for my parents. My dad, a lover of peanut brittle, got a peanut brittle can with 2 spring snakes that jumped out when the can was opened. My poor mother, a lover of chocolate covered cherries, received what looked like a box of said cherries. On the lid was the words “Greetings from Rudolph”. However, when opened, there was a nice little red net type of sock with 2 authentic reindeer droppings (the No. 2 kind if you get my drift). Over the years the peanut brittle can was retired as being too scary but Rudolph has survived. It is gifted to a deserving family member almost every year usually disguised as something else. It was not gifted last year and no one would admit to knowing where it was. So a big shout-out to Debby for receiving our loving traveling gift. The sleuthing has begun to figure out who had it and who gifted it. You see that is always a part of the fascination with the gift.
I am writing today with my brand new headphones on and listening to my Jango.com station titled “Hawkeye Oldies”. Check it out sometime, it is free but you do have to register. These oldies take me back to my childhood. I seem to spend a lot of time there these days. Anyway, I remember our first dog. He was a mutt of some sort and we named him “Pup”. Pretty original huh? Anyway Pup was a good dog and a good friend. He was an outdoor dog cause mom would not allow ANY animal inside her house. In cold weather, pup slept in our enclosed porch on blankets and stuff. It was about this time of year – snowy and cold out. On a Sunday afternoon a friend of my older brother stopped by. They did there thing outside. When Gene was leaving, he ran over Pup. Pup died shortly afterward. My brother and I buried him behind the barn next to the chicken house. It was awfully hard digging through that frozen ground that day. It took a long time but Pup got laid to rest the best we could do. I was sad. I was maybe 6 or 7 at the time. Give your pet a hug, you never know.
They are playing “My Girl” by the Temptations. I love these guys and this song. While in the Air Force stationed in New York along the Hudson River, I got to see these guys on New Year's Eve in a club near our base. They were FANTASTIC. Never forget the night.
My editing team is yelling for the blog so I had better let you go. Have a great January or whatever. I am sipping my French Roast and living the 60's again. To all of my Central Dallas Cyclone friends and classmates, 2014 if the year of 50. Yup, we graduated from high school 50 years ago. Seems only like a century ago doesn't it? TA!
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