Trashy Tuesday 12/3/2013

 

 

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company

Mark Twain

 


Happy Tuesday everyone. The Driveler here with my co-writer Barney. I am not certain if my blog today will be coherent or not. I feel I have succumbed to turkey bloat, turkey nausea, and turkey stupor. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Fifteen hungry adults and one hungry youngster showed up at our door step looking for food. Fortunately, we were prepared plus our guests made contributions to the menu. I, for one, ate myself silly. We were blessed to have my sis-in-law emcee the “Dirty Santa” Christmas game followed by the historic “Lefty/Righty Game. We all had a hoot. Some received duds and others received something useful. It was a tremendous fellowship time. Thanks to all and to all good night – forget that, that goes to something else. 
 
I have followed Thursday's turkey, dressing, gravy, and etc. each day since. The dressing and gravy has completely disappeared. My lower GI track is very appreciative of that. We still have turkey left and I have had turkey every day for 2 out of 3 meals. OMG. I may never recover.
“Grandpa. Let me jump in here.” Hi, Barney here. “I want to share my happiest greetings to all of my pet friends and followers. My mom took Max and me to the vet on Friday. It was mainly for our manny and peddies. I am not a very good patient when it comes to manny/peddies. You see being a black pug I have black toenails which makes it difficult to see how close to trim them. I have been hurt many times with nails getting trimmed too short so I have become very sensitive to this. I was pretty good Friday. I kind of sucked it up. Plus, I went first and wanted to show a brave face for Max. Still he stood up to see what was happening and chirped in with sympathy whining. What a bud. Max got his trimmed without incident. What I didn't know was I was due for a couple of shots and a blood test. These usually don't bother me but this time I have had a problem. Ever since then, I have had an upset stomach, nausea, and diarrhea. So much so that I haven't wanted anything to eat. Mom started giving me rice and boiled burger so my stomach could tolerate something. YUK! I would almost rather be sick. The vet thinks those 2 shots may have been the cause. I am beginning to feel a little better. I hope this all goes away before all of the Christmas goodies start falling on the floor. Merry Christmas everyone, here you go Grandpa, I have to go outside.”

My buddy Barney. Poor guy! OK, now what have we got going here today? I missed Black Friday – Turkey coma. No shopping on Thanksgiving evening – that is just not right. Oh, Saturday was a VERY big day. We were invited to Sven's parents in Dubuque for lunch. We had a great time. Both Mother Sven and Papa Sven were very gracious and entertaining. The food was very good and per the script, I overate. Brother Sven joined in also. It is always amazing to me that the world is so small. The Sven parents are good friends of a friend of my current wife. I found someone who could talk intelligently about Minneapolis Moline's. I bet most of you think that is a rail line from Minneapolis to Moline, Illinois. You would be wrong. The Minneapolis Moline was a brand of tractor in the 40's – 60's. It was great to visit with someone who farmed back in the day and we had a lot of similar experiences, Thanks to all of our new Dubuque friends.
Yesterday, I also avoided cyber Monday. Not by choice but I simply couldn't get where I needed to be. Today should be better. Now, today I will be resuming the Silver Sneakers workout class for Seniors. I have to get back into some semblance of shape since before my knee surgery. I have been banned from the treadmill by the doctor, the ellipticals doesn't work for me and the bike gives me a sore rear end after 20 minutes or so. It will be good to interact with all of the old farts, oops, I mean faces, and to meet some new ones. Neither of the trainers will appreciate me coming back though as I tend to be a little disruptive. I know, it is a failing.

I was doing my due diligence on social media a few days ago. Being a dog lover, I get a lot of stuff from Pug and Labrador sights. I am sure you have all seen the cute little signs that kids make and hold up on TV. Cute sayings and such. Well, there is something similar to that called “Dog Shaming”. I won't post the pictures but here are several cute ones. I was given these by Fluffy's wife the musician.

“I stole a little girl's ice cream at the park.”
“I enjoy jumping up and pulling down my dad's gym shorts in front of the neighbors instead of going potty.”
“I pooped by the elliptical machine.” (See why I don't like them?)
“I hid meat in the couch.”
“I hid a live chicken under the bed.”
“She did a great job of not peeing on the carpet, said nobody ---ever.”
“Today was the first day my mom and dad trusted me to be out of my crate while they were gone.....So I ate the blinds.”

I think we can all agree that we can relate to at least some of these. 
 
Barney and I were talking and we both feel that we should take a break until after the holidays are over. Just to kind of let our minds get re-stimulated. Everyone will be busy shopping anyway. We will come back in January, God willing.

Finally, I will not share “Happy Holidays” with you. Being a traditionalist, I wish you and yours a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! Santa will be good to you, if not good, he will be gentle. Happy Nogging of the Egg! TA!