Trashy Tuesday 7/9/2013

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Margaret Mead

GOOOOOD EVENING Drivelholics!!

Sorry I am getting a late start on Trashy Tuesday today. I had a 9:00 am orthopedic appointment which altered my Tuesday routine a bit. I also had a surprise MRI this afternoon. I wanted to start out with a link to a video that I thought was a hoot. My current wife has cautioned me, rather emphatically actually, not to put it in the blog. Her feeling is that it is over the edge of tastefulness. She double checked with Kay who agreed with her so I therefore am acquiescing to her wishes. Darn it anyway.

OK, let's get on with it. Did everyone have a great 4th of July? Ours was pretty good although a bit different. Jenny, the elder, was not in attendance but Kinnick was. Debby, the younger, and her pug boys showed up also. We grilled, ate and played with the pets. It was a good time. 

 

Several years ago, my two lovely daughters presented me with a cherry tree for Father's Day. We planted it and have tended to it with care ever since. We are harvesting it for the first time where there are enough cherries that we can actually make something. I performed my due diligence last week by Googling “Cherry Pickers”. There were all sorts of devices available but the one that made the most sense seemed to be one that is home built from a broom handle and a plastic pop bottle. You simply cut the bottom out of it in a jagged pattern. Next, duct tape the top to a broom handle and Walla – done. So far we have gotten one gallon of cherries. BTW – The cherry picker I built was a total bust. Sure glad I didn't have to go to Menards for materials. It is my plan today to harvest some more after lunch if the rain holds off. I have harvested about all that I can reach from the ground. Next, comes the step ladder. This will be a trying experience. Do you suppose the Emergency Room is very busy on Tuesday afternoons? Let's hope I don't find out. We probably have 3 or 4 more gallons to get. We will let the birds have the rest. Yum!

Kinnick was a guest for several days last week. We had a good ole time. It is great now that I have learned to speak and understand Labrador Speak. His language is both verbal and non-verbal. It is full of nuances that you really have to focus on. Kinnick is eight years old now. The vet classifies him as being in the “geriatric group” now. I take exception to that but he does have issues. First and foremost, he is one HUGE allergy machine. He is allergic to about everything outside and loved by dogs. You know things such as grass, trees, flowers, dust, dirt and etc. This time of year is just miserable on him. He gets a periodic shot, pills daily, bathes in special soap and still he itches. Now it turns out he has low thyroid output and has to take a pill for that. Good Grief! Poor guy can't get a break. Just like everyone's pet, he is still loving and good natured. 

 

I was at Hy-Vee yesterday. I didn't see you there by the way but that is okay. I went to get a cart at the cart corral. Next to the cart I grabbed was one of those kiddie carts. You know the kind with a plastic body around a normal cart giving the kid something to play with while mom is shopping. I just happened to see a banana peel lying in the cart. I think Hy-Vee gives kids a free banana if they get hungry during shopping. The thing that really got me was why in the name of common sense didn't she throw it away? I mean, she had to walk RIGHT PAST a trash can. That got my mind going about how senseless our society is these days. Our ancestors would have had fits if they were alive today. 

As luck would have it on the way home, I stopped at a stop light. Standing on the corner, which happened to be a bus stop were two people – a lady and a young man. The lady, probably 40ish was facing the traffic. I noticed she was holding some type of credit card in her hand. I looked at the young man. He apparently had gotten a taco to go from the Mexican place up the street a little. He was your typical young person. His hat was askew. Why we can't teach them to wear a baseball cap correctly I will never know. He wore the requisite white t-shirt. His tennis shoes were too big, dirty and untied of course. He was wearing what I thought were blue jean Capri pants. You know the ones that come down about to mid-calf. A lot of the gals wear them to work out in. His were really loose though. I could have put both legs down one of the legs in his Capris. I pointed him out to my current wife. She said I didn't know what I was talking about. She said they weren't Capris at all. They were either blue jeans that were too short for him or blue jean shorts that needed hoisted up to where they should be. That was a relief because he was really ugly if they had been Capris. As shorts, he just looked like an idiot without a lick of common sense.

I ran across a list of tool definitions a couple of days ago I thought you might enjoy. We all have a little DIY in us – some more; some less. You have probably seen a list like this before but a review never hurts. Remember that old saying; “Measure once, cut once and cuss three times!” Maybe that is not quite right but it is the rule I go by. Gals, here is a chance to impress your better half with your tool knowledge.

COMMON TOOLS EXPLAINED

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit.
Son of a bitch TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

Until we meet again – TA!