Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Trashy Tuesday - 6/11/2013

Consider this - “Going out is good.. Coming home is better!


Good morning fellow Drivellers. Barney here. Grandpa was going to write this week's blog but boy oh boy was he mad. I've never seen him so mad. He was yelling and speaking words so fast that I thought he was speaking in tongues. It scared me. Grandma told me to start writing and maybe he would cool down a little later. It seems as though it has happened to him again. Yep, a $2.00 part to fix the basement toilet has become an extended project. He has made 2 trips to Menards and 1 to Do-It-Best and still has a problem.
Max was so scared he was shaking and of course petrified. He simply could not move. Mom went over to calm him down and he flopped over on his back with his legs straight up in the air. What a goof ball.
Hey, good news, Grandpa is back. His face is a bit flushed but he has a steamy cup of French Roast in hand and I think he wants to take over. Here he is gang!

Hi Drivellers. I am calming down a bit, I think. Let's give Barney a shout out for jumping in at the last second and getting the blog started. Thanks Barney. Yes, Barney, thanks for the face licks also. No I can still see through my glasses. Things are a little blurry but what's new. 
 
What set me off folks is the stupid toilet in the basement. My current wife mentioned the other day, maybe a couple of weeks ago, that it was not functioning properly. On a whim while we were at Menards, I broke down and bought a repair kit including both the flush valve assembly and the fill valve assembly. Done it a million times, about an hour and it would be done. 
WRONG!!!! Oh, the replacement parts were great, fit properly and everything except the gasket between the tank and the bowl. I assembled everything, turned the water on, filled the tank, flushed and got drenched from the waist down since I was sitting on the stool. Water, cold water, came out of everywhere. Catching my breath and after I turned the water off, I analysed the problem, read the directions and decided the rubber gasket between the tank and bowl was the problem. Okay, bale the water out of the tank, take the tank off, take the new gasket off and put the old one back in. Assemble as before, flush, drenched again. I decided right then that we really didn't need a toilet in the basement anyway. Turned the lights off and watched TV. 
 
I had the opportunity to watch PBS (not my favorite) the other night. They were running a program “BREAKFAST SPECIAL 2 - REVENGE OF THE OMELETS”. Some of you know that I have an aversion to eating eggs. I know it seems strange but I have my reasons. I am not alone with this affliction. A good church friend, the Traveler, also is afflicted. I could not stomach watching the whole program. Despite loading up with TUMS and various acid reflux meds, my stomach started bubbling uncontrollably. It had been suggested that this program may be good therapy but that was not the case. Speaking of the Traveler. He is in the hospital these days and will be for a while as I understand. We want to give him a HUGE shout out to obey the doctors and nurses, at least give the appearance of obeying them, and get well ASAP. I can only imagine just how much rest and relaxation you aren't getting. One of my other foibles is an aversion to hospitals (another long story) so please understand that I am praying for your full recovery. 
 
Summertime ushers in the invasion of the teens at the gym. It seems to be a rite of passage or something. All I really know is the Silver Sneakers program alters its time table to accommodate the invasion. It seems to be just good business. You get 100 to 150 youngsters into the gym to experience good health and workouts. A certain number of those reaching adulthood may actually become members. Last week, I was sitting in a chair near the front desk waiting for my current wife to finish with her class. I had completed my workout. I was clad in my Under Armour moisture wicking t-shirt and running shorts, shoes and socks. If you can imaging an under-tall, overweight balding 67 year old sitting in a chair with sweat rolling off the top of his bald head like Niagara falls, cascading over his beet red face who is gasping for every breath – that would be me. In comes the invasion of youngsters. Everyone is full of nervous energy. The girls are wondering if their hair looks good or if their work out clothes are in and are any boys looking at me. The boys are trying to look as muscle bound as possible. They stand around clenching fists trying to pump up their biceps. They really are not into the clothes thing. The more unkempt they look, the more masculine they are. At least that is their perception. In reality, none of them has any idea what they are to do or do they really care. After all it is just a school class and they just want a grade. The adult handlers break these kids into groups and off they go to their workstations. They rotate at certain points. As they loiter in the front area, I suddenly become claustrophobic and realize the full weight of what 67 years old means. If these kids only knew what a burden it is at this age and you have a toilet that apparently is smarter than you are. Let's get them healthy so they will see 67 and experience the fun of plumbing. As I am sitting there with these thoughts, I begin to wonder if my current wife was swallowed up in the sea to adolescence when the sea suddenly parts and through them stride the proud, the mighty, the old, Silver Sneakers class including the current one. The kids do have respect for their elders after-all.... or maybe they just want them out of the building as soon as possible! 
 
Certainly this blog was therapeutic for me. I am pretty stress free now. Thanks Barney for getting this started. BTW, I emailed a photo of me and Under Armour's moisture wicking t-shirt to Under Armour I thought they may want to use it to show just HOW MUCH moisture it can really wick. Have not gotten a reply yet. They should be getting with me any day now. Until then I will keep sipping my French Roast and learning all there is being 67. I read somewhere “Today is the oldest you've ever be, yet the youngest you'll ever be. So – enjoy this day while it lasts.” TA!

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