Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Trashy Wednesday 5/1/2013

I'm not saying you're STUPID. I'm just saying you've got BAD LUCK when it comes to THINKING.” ----- Aunty Acid

Hi Drivelers. It is a beautiful day here on Hysteria Lane. Spring has sprung; time to get busy with those flowers, mulch, seeding and etc. What happens to me every spring is the weather warms up and my energy level goes down. No motivation other than sitting and admiring Mother Nature's beauty. 
 
At the outset I must apologize for not getting the Drivel out to you yesterday (Tuesday). The day got started all wrong and I got out of my Drivel rhythm. By the time I got around to Driveling, it was already 9:00 am which is the deadline to get it to the editorial staff. I tried writing it really quickly but my mindset was not in a good place. Thank you for understanding – At least some of you understood. I did receive some very terse emails. Shoot, even one of my favorite trainers at the gym, Kay, literally ignored my existence when I saw her at the gym. All is cool, I understand. But I digress.......

Excuse me for a minute, will you? Tromp, tromp, tromp........ Okay, I'm back. I had to go out to the garage and get my soap box. Now I am firmly ensconced onto my soap box, let's get this thing going. 
 
As the premier blogger on Hysteria Lane in Cedar Rapids and being 67 years of age, I have to get this off my chest. I have gotten fed up with the state of our country. I would love to effect some change but for the life of me, I can't see how. OK, that is out of my system. I won't go into any more detail.

OK, the soap box is put back into the garage. I want to give a HUGE shout out to a reader in Idaho who had the honor of playing the organ at the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City, Utah. It has 11,000 pipes. Can you believe it? That is a great honor in my book.

Another HUGE shout out goes to our church (Christ Church Presbyterian) for our work with a neighborhood elementary school and a program called Cleveland Connection. This afternoon program provides student care on days of in-service for teachers. The Church has been awarded the State of Iowa Governor's Volunteer Award. This is a GREAT recognition for the effort church members provide for students that would otherwise be home alone during these in-service periods. This is actually the second time the church has received this award. The first one was as a result of our extensive involvement in the Flood Recovery effort. Yeah!

While passing out shout outs, I will have to give myself one. I got the lawn mower started on the first try PLUS I mowed our back yard for the first time in 2013 without passing out. Thank You, thank you, thank you – please be seated. I appreciate the applause. Really!

Being the “Premier Blogger” of Hysteria Lane, as alluded to earlier, I naturally receive topic suggestions, articles, jokes and etc. from readers all the time. I appreciate the help – believe me. As it turns out, one of my readers sent this to me and I decided I should share it with y’all. 
 
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in: Alaska, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal Louisiana, Coastal Alabama, Coastal Mississippi, Coastal Texas, North Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and Texas. Our “dipsticks” are located in DC. Any Questions? NO? Didn't think So. 
 
That was fun. 
 
My current wife, Sue is her name; some of you may have met her. Anyway she went out of town last week. Sue and some DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) friends went to Ames for a state conference. They left Thursday afternoon and were to return on Saturday afternoon. Leading up to their leaving I would dream of all of the guy things I would be able to do while she was gone. I could go anywhere, do anything – just imagine? So she left. What did I do? I hung her TV on the wall (30 minutes). That was it. Two and one half days and I could not remember even one of those guy things I thought I could do. I did get in my van and drove out to the edge of town. Stopped, turned around and came back home. I just couldn't bring myself to leave town. What a buzz kill. Therapy is in my future I think. The current wife – oh, she got home and went on and on about sitting around the pool sipping wine swapping oft told DAR stories. She has assumed an honorary office of Candy Provider. Fondly referred to as the Candy Fairy, she had her bags filled with a variety yum, yum treats. I got a couple of pieces when she returned. Thanks, I needed the treats!

My last shout out goes to daughter Jenny and Chef Siegfried. They hosted a Sunday evening meal in honor of the 2 birthday dogs – Kinnick (8) and Max (7). The meal was in a word “fantastic”. It was yummo. Everything was made from scratch including the cake and barbecue sauce. Oh, did I say it was “fantastic”? Thanks a lot kiddoes.

OK, I am actually writing this after our Men's Breakfast at Church and a workout. Fluffy supplied some “homemade” pastries, bananas, oranges and strong coffee. It was well received and much appreciated. When I arrived home, the lawn mower was sitting in the front yard. That is not where we keep it so I figured someone was in the process of stealing it and I interrupted them. It turns out that this was a “hint” for me to mow the back yard again. She has gone past the door in the computer room several times since I got home but has not said anything about mowing. I think she is giving me some leeway so that I write this blog. Am I thinking right? It is almost lunch time here on Hysteria Lane and my tummy is growling. I need to get this growling under control before I can even think about mowing. Best get a move on, so until we meet again, TA!

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