Trashy Tuesday - 3/12/2013

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

Good morning St. Drivelers. Almost St. Patrick's Day. Are you ready for some green beer? Yep, me neither. I'll don my bright green golf shirt for a day and that will be that. I really should be more into it. I'm half Irish I think, at least that was what I was told by my mom. A friend of mine, TD, sent me a few Irish flavored jokes the other day. I thought I could set your mood by sharing a couple with you if you don't mind.
Hang on, here goes!

• Come on Paddy. Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'
  Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
  Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
  
• Paddy was in New York
  He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
  He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
  After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
  

OK, enough of Paddy jokes. You have to admit though they were good. 
 
I had the good fortune to leave Linn County yesterday for the first time in a long while. I traveled to the Des Moines International Airport. Most of my trip was as I remembered, however before I left town I decided I would need some cash so I swung into my bank. Obediently, I waited next to the sign that said “Stand here until there is a teller available. It wasn't too long of a wait. I presented the teller a withdrawal slip for $200.00. I said, “May I have large bills, please.” She looked at me and said, “I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.” After I stopped laughing, I explained it to her. Yep, Idiot Sighting!

I got to the Des Moines area with a couple hours to spare until I had to pick up my eldest and 2 of her friends at the airport. I saw the Bass Pro Shop next to the interstate so I decided to swing in, look around and kill some time. I didn't realize that I would have to drive about 4 miles to get to the stupid place. I walked in looking like a hunter as best as I could. I decided job number 1 was to relieve myself. I found the restrooms, one labeled “Doe” and one “Buck”. Hmm, didn't know for sure which one was the proper one. Growing up everyone called me “Doe”. But that didn't seem quite right because I saw a couple of women go in. I didn't think “Buck” was really appropriate either since at 67 years of age, there isn't a whole lot of “Buck” left in me. I went in anyway. I was relieved to see another elderly “Buck” in there and knew I had made the right choice. Upon being relieved and finding a little zip in my step I wander through out this place. If they had 1 they had 7 million fishing poles and I have never seen so much camouflage clothing in my life. I looked at the firearms. They had display cases that hold probably 100 or so revolvers. They had only about 15. Go figure. I managed to get out of there with a $7.00 travel mug. 
 
Off to the airport I go. I find a convenient parking spot, take my nook, find a place where I can see all of the people arriving and read my nook book. No sooner had I responded to a text message from Jenny the elder that they had just landed when a siren goes off and a bunch of lights start flashing. A voice comes on the speaker and states they are investigating a possible security breach. Remain where you are. No problem. Okay, so I look around trying to get an idea of what is going on. Everyone seems to have not heard the sirens or messages or seen the lights. As far as I could tell it was business as usual – even the employees were plodding along doing their thing. I pinched myself to make sure I was awake and yes, I was. I greet the group and they ask “What were all of the sirens about?” I replied, “Oh, it was nothing.” Out we go. Jenny the elder told me about checking her bags at the Tampa Airport. It went something like this. She was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which she replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Idiot Sighting!

Her cruise was a success and Kinnick's stay with us was successful also. He was no problem for the most part. He was really glad to see his mom and didn't mind going home at all.

I was a titch tardy with my garbage today. This time change thing takes a while to set in. I got the stuff out JUST before a Garbage Gestapo car came along checking to see who is tardy. I think I am okay. I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed. 
 
Switched back to my French Roast yesterday. I had been drinking “Breakfast Blend”. It didn't light my fire like the French Roast does. I have had my two cups this morning and I am firing on all eight cylinders. I am so fired up I can hardly stand still. Later today, my Samsung repair man stops in to fix my big screen. It went belly up last week. Lucky me, it appears that much of the repair will be free due to a defect. Thank you Samsung. So in the meantime, I have set my 24 inch LCD on a stand in front of the big one. My HDMI cable only extends it out a couple of feet. Any idea how hard it is seeing anything clearly that far away with 67 year old eyes? It is darn hard. I was out of sorts all weekend because my viewing routine had been up rooted. Until he gets here, I will go to the gym and deposit a bucket full of sweat on their floor and come home and complain about it. 
 
Well my friends, that is about all of the Drivel for today. I would love to stay longer but then what would we do next week? Have a good one. TA!