“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.” Mark Twain
Wow, I just woke up from my self-induced Christmas meal overeating coma. Did anything happen yesterday of note? There is a degree of comfort knowing the end of the world did not occur on the 21st. We got to enjoy Jenny's birthday on the 22nd. I was a little bit concerned we wouldn't be able to do that.
I don't know about your Christmas but for me, it was great. It was a small celebration with the girls, 3 granddogs, 1 visiting griffon, and my current wife. At times, the house seemed very crowded. Honestly though everyone behaved very well. The girls didn't argue once and all were in high spirits. Apparently everyone received some good stuff, I know I did. I was surprised with a Nook HD, an electric razor, and a lot of other things. One thing I really wanted but didn't receive was the new black corvette convertible. Maybe next year.
I have to give kudos to the pugs and Kinnick. These guys are experts at unwrapping gifts. Kinnick is especially adept at ripping wrapping paper off of gifts. He shows extra vigor with his own gifts. It may because all of his gifts had a treat or two wrapped inside. I'm just guessin'.
While shopping one day I met an oncoming car that had a big red nose mounted on the hood and brown antlers sticking up from the rear windows. I honked and gave them a thumbs up. Coolest car I have seen this year for the holidays. The red bow on the grill is so yesterday.
Someone sent me the latest round of the Walmart people. You know the photos that catch Walmart shoppers in unusual forms of dress and undress. This one was from Houston. I recall thinking that most of these Walmart images come from down south. Let's keep our fingers crossed that we don't see something like “Walmart Shoppers of Cedar Rapids”. Not to say we couldn't find enough examples here but we just don't need the adverse advertising.
Went to the gym yesterday. First time in a week for me. I was not looking forward to it at all. I strolled into the gym with a little extra swagger. I wanted to give the impression that the holidays had not taken a toll on me unlike most everyone else there. I know better than doing this because without exception, it is thrown right back in my face. The first throw back happened when I mounted my treadmill. A husband and wife who I know from the Silver Sneakers program just finished their treadmill work out and said hi as they walked by. I blurted out “Done already?” Bad, Bad response. They informed me they had been there since 6:30 am. It was now 8:30 am. Crap I said to myself with my focus returning to setting up the treadmill. Off I go, still with a bit of swagger. Next to me was an old geezer who was walking at a slow pace. I immediately increased my warm up speed well beyond what he was doing. My attention turned to a lovely young lady in the front row. Very slender and looked very fit. She was jogging along around 6 mph. I began feeling all of my 66 years since she didn't seem to be sweating or panting. Sweat was already flowing freely down my face. That was the final straw. I was slapped back into reality like always.
BTW, does anyone know why it seems that you only sweat from your head? With me it seems like all of my sweat is pumped up to the top of my head to be expelled profusely. Am I abnormal? Wait, don't answer that. Thank you.
I think I mentioned that we have had quite an unfortunate series of deaths in our church family lately. At one of the funerals, I don't remember which one, I overheard the funeral director speaking to the very elderly widow before the services started. He asked, “How old was your husband?” “98” she replied: “Two years older than me.” “So you're 96,” the funeral director commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?” At which point I decided I had better find my seat and just be quiet.
It seems we have a number of men in our Men's Breakfast Group that enjoy toy trains. I personally don't see the fascination but these guys do. Invariably the topic of conversation at our breakfast will turn to trains at some point. I had the opportunity to see one of the layouts during a wine tasting event at Charles' home a while back. Charles is not his real name by the way. I noted a couple of things about his layout. First, it pretty much consumes his basement. Second, the trains can only go forwards and backwards. There is no loop. Now Charles is a thinker and a planner. He explained how this project was going to evolve. Well, at breakfast one day he mentions that his has started work on his “hump” yard. Being rather naive about trains I interpreted that to be a rather racy remark. He continued by saying something about having to straddle his treadmill. My mind is now really going off the kinky end and of course I had to say something. I called him on it saying something like, “shouldn't what you and your wife choose to do be better left at home?” Well, that seemed to spark some snickers and the conversation went way off course. The “Hump” yard has come up a number of times in subsequent meetings and Charles, not his real name, has informed me that he is naming it “Bailey's Hump Yard”. Still not certain if I should be flattered or offended.
Christmas was on Tuesday. You probably already knew that. But did you know that Tuesday is our normal trash pickup day? I was told by my current wife that I managed to get the garbage and recyclables to the curb about 7:15 the next day – Wednesday. That is the progression on holiday weeks. We came home from the gym around 10:00 am and pulled into the driveway just as the GARBY truck was coming up the hill. We sat in the van to watch the pickup when I remembered that the extra garbage bag sitting next to the GARBY was supposed to be placed on TOP of the GARBY not next to it. My current wife leaped from the van. Well, she didn't actually leap, it was more of a slither out of the seat to the ground with the idea of helping the GARBY GESTAPO guy. Brownie points and holidays you know. I stayed in the van afraid I might cause some sort of confrontation. My wife and the guy had a few words, at which time he tossed the bag up, got back into the truck, activated the arms, picked up and dumped my GARBY and was on his way. My current wife won't tell me what was said in their brief conversation. Leave sleeping dogs lie, I think.
Being retired is great except between Christmas and New Years. We don't have any appointments during the day and so not really much to do. I was biding my time until the next feeding frenzy surfing the channels. I happened upon the “Finding Bigfoot” series. I watched for a moment or two. Honestly, I have stumbled across it a time or two before. All of a sudden I asked myself, “Why do they have to have a series about finding Bigfoot. It's not like a typical hunting or fishing show where they show how to catch or shoot something and then show you the prize. These big foot hunters HAVE NEVER CAUGHT ONE OR SEEN ONE. Do you think we might just be taking along for a ride. Are we really that gullible? We I suppose we are since we have “moonshiners”, “ghost hunters” and etc. Another show I just can't stand to watch is “Hoarding buried alive”. It is so painful to watch because it reminds me of all the stuff I haven't gotten rid of yet.
Bought some new French Roast the other day. Organic of course. I don't know what has happened to my taste buds because I can't really taste that French Roast taste anymore. Is there a taste bud doctor in the house? I may be forced to break away from the French Roast for a while. I need something stronger, more intense. Am I addicted? Naw, I don't think so.
I want to give a very heart felt shout out to all of my readers and friends who shared words for the holidays. They all brought a lump in my throat. I blog to help bring a little smile to you once in a while. One of my old friends told me to “Keep making memories”. That is a tall task but one which I hope I can achieve. Thanks to all of you. I truly wish 2013 is the best of all years for all of you.
In closing this last blog for 2012, I want to leave you with a video that I hope you watch. I served in Vietnam in 1968 and came home only to keep in the shadows because of the hatred people had for the soldiers returning from there. I have finally decided that enough is enough. This video brought tears to my eyes with the heroism this soldier exhibited. This type of thing was repeated all the time over there. Give thanks to our servicemen and women, help restore democracy to the USA and let's get rid of pet abuse in this country. Happy New Year to all!
TA!
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