"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." – Albert Einstein
A very special Hysteria Lane Good Morning to each and all. OMG!!! I just noticed Charlie Rose was on CBS This Morning and looked at the clock – 7:05. I am in deep dodo. Quick like a bunny (albeit an old overweight bunny) I sprang into action grabbing trash baskets here and there, combining as I went along. Grabbed the recyclables, put on my “Grumpy Old Men” hat and out I went. I crammed the garbage into the GARBY and sprinted it out to the curb. In the distance I can hear big truck engines reving and those annoying blings from backing up. I reasoned that if I get the garbage to the curb first that would be best from an odor and rodent control standpoint. Back I go grabbing recyclables, scanning left and right for additional stuff as I go. I slam that stuff in the CURBY; again sprinting it to the curb as fast as I could. Mission accomplished without getting caught. Whew! I just sat down to relate this experience to you when my current wife, wiping the sleep from her eyes, pops in my door and calmly asks, “Did you get my trash?” Hell no, you were sleeping and I was lucky get out what I did get out, No I didn’t really say that, I just replied a very civil “No”. I must admit it was a horrible feeling to rush out of the garage and see everyone on Hysteria Lane has their carts neatly lining the curb with only mine being the exception.
I am feeling a lot of pressure these days to insure Trashy Tuesday hits the wires on time. I keep getting feedback about how people have trouble carrying on their day until it arrives. Not certain if I am flattered or if this is a reflection of how our society has actually eroded. I think I prefer the former. I have to give a BIG Shout-Out to the DAR’s that following the blog. Several of them follow the blogs. Oh, DAR – who is that? It stands for the Daughters of the Armenian Revolt of 1812. Hang on a second, my current wife is peering over my shoulder making some sort of guttural sounds……… Apparently, I misspoke. DAR stands for the Daughters of The American Revolution. Sorry DARs, didn’t mean to insult you. Just got my War of 1812, my revolt and revolutions and America and Armenia all confused. I think I am straightened out now. Good grief, it is so hard just to give an old fashioned “shout out”.
We have had another emergency pop up here this morning on Hysteria Lane. Neighbor rings the doorbell while I am still in my comfy clothes. She has found a cute and scared blond Chihuahua dog wandering the streets. It is obviously a pet since it has a very nice collar but no tags. We watered the poor thing and tried to calm him a bit. Now my wife and the neighbor are walking him all around the neighborhood trying to locate an owner for him. Meanwhile, I have yet again, quick like a bunny (albeit an old overweight bunny) jumped out of the comfy clothes right into my daily work clothing so I can be available for dog owner searching duty if need be. If they come back with no results, we will take him to a nearby vet and see if he has a chip. Oh boy, good start to my morning all ready.
Well, they came back with puppy in hand so Sue and I took him to a vet for scanning. Of course, the puppy didn’t have a chip in him. He is now at our house in the kennel; he has eaten, drank and is now sleeping. No doubt tired out from his ordeal so far. I am making a poster to hang around to see if we can find him a home. He is really sweet.
I didn’t have anything to do Friday afternoon so Sue & I went to the Urgent Care place because I had had a pain in my chest for a couple of days. It didn’t feel like a pain that I have had before. I was afraid I was having the “big” one. I get an EKG at this place and the doctor says, I don’t want to alarm you but would you like an ambulance to the emergency room or can Sue drive you there? Huh? We were just dropping in at this clinic and then to the bank to be back home by 4 to go to a potluck. Those plans went out the window. I didn’t really feel that bad but just had this persistent pain. I get into the emergency room with all of the pomp and circumstance. Shirt off, lay down on the bed and then a whole host of worker bees start filling the room. Before I know it, I am hooked up to an EKG with all of the electrodes. I have a blood pressure cuff permanently ensconced on my left arm. It goes off periodically squeezing the beejebers out of my arm. I have a thing clipped to a finger. They draw blood and insert an IV dripping a bag of some type of fluid. Oh, and I have the official oxygen gismo in my nose. Next comes the question that you knew they would ask, “How are you feeling?” A five hour odyssey with a lot of waiting ends up with ye olde cardiologist pronouncing “You have acid reflux”. I have never had acid reflux before in my life. Thank you for visiting St. Luke’s Emergency Room, we trust your stay was enjoyable; off you go. So off I went. I took the prevecid he proscribed plus I re-introduced fiber in to my diet. Those things have solved my problem. Acid Reflux – who knew?
National Whatever Day!
August 8 - Happiness Happens Day
August 9 – Book Lovers Day
National Women’s Day
August 10 – National Lazy Day
National S’mores Day
August 11 – Presidential Joke Day
August 12 – International Youth Day
August 13 – International Lefthanders Day (Finally, a day for me!)
August 14 – National Creamsicle Day
Pramuka Day
Some of you may be aware of a show on CBS called Big Brother. It is basically a reality show where a group of males and females are sequestered in this house for I think like 3 months or something. They have no contact with the outside world. They have contests where losers are ousted out of the house. Well, it seems my family all enjoys this show. For the past couple of years, we each draw contestants. As contestants lose we kick money into the pot with the eventual winner getting the dough. On Sunday evenings show, we get together at someone’s home, have supper and watch the show together. Kind of nice family bonding if you will. Last Sunday we were at Debby’s House, the younger with her 2 pugs. Jenny, the elder, couldn’t be there that night. Sunday morning I receive a call from Debby stating she has some type of varmint in a hole in her back yard. Seems as though Max, call me Chicken Man, black pug had stumble upon this varmint. He sniffed it, the varmint rose out of its hole suddenly, and Max leaped backwards 15 feet in a single bound. He looked at it, and it disappeared. Cautiously, Max crept closer and closer until his nose was on top of the little dirt dome covering the varmint. Up it pops again and again Max is gone but this time, Debby was right there too and she too was gone. So I get the call, when you come over tonight, can you get this varmint out of my back yard. Sure, no problem. I load up the van with all of my best equipment. I look similar to the “Ghostbusters” bus. Clad in my “Grumpy Old Men” hat, spade, and net and bucket I gingerly dig up some dirt. Out comes a varmint, quickly we net him and get him in the bucket. OMG, there is another one, and another one until there were four altogether. Upon thorough examination it appears to be a rabbit’s nest, not a mole, gopher, ground squirrel or whatever. We carefully replaced them, covered them up and left them alone. Last report indicated that they seemed to be getting along fine and momma had been to visit them.
The clock is telling me it is time to get this put to bed for this week. However, I wanted to share with you that I am now the proud owner of a chain link fence. My back yard is now totally enclosed with chain link and the dogs can run free without the worry of them going through the plastic temporary thing I had there before. An unexpected consequence of this fence is that now the rabbits don’t know how to get through it. Their old holes are gone. It has been enjoyable to see how they adjust. Well once again I have had too much fun so I had better back down so my acid reflux doesn’t flair up again. Until we meet again, TA!
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