Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Trashy Tuesday–Presidential Visit Today

Hello World – it’s nice to see you.  I don’t know about you but I am really glad we got a little break from the 90+  degrees.  How did the hot weather alter your daily plans? Or did it?  For me, it changed my game plan drastically.  I was forced to replace my daily visit to the gym with hauling dirt.  Yes, that is the same pile of dirt I received 2 weeks ago.  I am able to haul dirt between 8 and 10 am.  I then head inside for the rest of the day.  I have been able to catch up a bit on my inside chores and I have even invented some new ones. 
For the Eastern Iowa readers, yes the President is gracing us today with a visit.  I didn’t get tickets in time.  Mainly because I didn’t go over there to get any.  The extensive coverage of his upcoming visit reminds me just how lucky I am to have 900 cable channels to choose from.  Also in the area, we have had several motorcycle accidents with serious and deadly outcomes.  These cyclists seem to think that they are above the law and don’t have to stop for the police.  It would be nice if riders would get a clue.
Our indoor pool at Grandpa Bailey’s Fitness Center and Spa has been extremely popular that past couple of weeks.  It has been full of dog-paddlers every day.  They have a great time but after a while they get a little too playful.  Kinnick seems to enjoy splashing everyone in sight.  He loves to get wet, crawl out and find a person nearby to shake on.   Brings a smile to his face every time.  He loves to share you know.  The pugs wanted to get into the water so bad.  They want to get cool but don’t want to get wet.  I introduced a simple “doggie introduction to water” class.  I was fortunate to get Monica, Yvette’s BFF to volunteer to teach the class.  You remember Yvette don’t you?  I’ll explain at a different time if you don’t remember.  Monica, also a comely blue-eyed blonde, was very eager since she had been downsized a couple years ago and can’t get a job to save her lovely soul.  I will try to give her some counseling after work.  Now Barney and Max, my noted black pugs, seeing and meeting Monica, seem willing to give the class a shot.  I’m not certain how anxious they are to learn how to dog paddle.  My gut tells me they are more interested in the “interaction” between them, especially Max who is a known clinger.
I extended an invitation to the Library ladies next door to come over for a dip.  In the pool duh!  A shortish, gray-haired older lady in a very polite motherly voice said, “Young man, the Ladies of the Library don’t engage in such cavorting and frolicking in a pool designed for those of the canine persuasion. “  Ok then, that’s that.  Here is a box of tissues to dab the sweat, uh I mean the perspiration from your forehead.
I was reminded last week about a happening a few years back that I was certain (hoping) people had forgotten about.  As memory serves, I was at a church meeting of some sort probably a bible study.  I was scheduled to read a list of people who had asked to be included in the congregation’s prayers.  I offered to include Wanda and her Husband Gomer on the prayer list after she confided to me that they were struggling with the decision as to whether or not to become missionaries.  At the meeting I rose and began reading the prayer list in all of my pastoral splendor.  I used my deep, refined voice and enunciated every name.  At the end I  announced, “Let’s all pray that Wanda and Gomer can make a decision about the missionary position.”  At church the next Sunday, I was told that Wanda and Gomer’s decision came quickly shortly after learning of my eloquent prayer request.  I haven’t seen or heard from them since.  I trust all is working out well with their missionary position.
  Now for your list of “National Whatever Days”.
July 11 – Cheer Up the Lonely Day, World Population Day, Different Colored Eyes Day, & Pecan Pie Day.
July 12 – Nil, nothing, nada, none, zero.  Available.
July 13 – Barbershop Music Appreciation Day, Fool’s Paradise Day.
July 14 – Bastille Day, Pandemonium Day (my favorite), National Nude Day (nope, I was wrong, this is my favorite.).
July 15 – Tapioca Pudding Day.
July 16 - Nil, nothing, nada, none, zero. Available.
July 17- Yellow Pigs Day.
I trust everyone will help to celebrate each of these special holidays.  Enjoy, but not in excess.
My dirt guy recommended a landscape guy to me so I had him give us, M.E. and myself, a quote on providing us a solution to our drainage problem between our homes.  I have spent 30+ years trying to solve this.  It appears as though the landscape guy, a kid actually, took maybe 30 minutes to come up with a plan and an estimate.  Oh, to be young again.  Everyone on the count of three, cross your fingers and say a little prayer to a successful outcome.
My current wife, Sue, received this from a friend of hers.  She thought it was so true of us Baby Boomer Senior Citizens.  She said, “THIS IS US !!!”and I replied, “Wrong, this is YOU!!!”. Read and enjoy,
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or
God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!  And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country. Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts!
YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!I'm the life of the party..... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps..... With a hammer.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!
And, MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA - AND MAY AMERICA BLESS GOD!!
Go Green - Recycle CONGRESS!!

You may have realized that my supply of French Roast coffee has been restocked.  It is not the organic good kind but just garden variety stuff.  I didn’t get a huge amount, just enough to tide me over until tomorrow when I go to Iowa City and get some more.  I have gotten fed up with our Grocery store.  Their produce is not good, their pricing is suspect, their meat counter has gone downhill and their deli has not been good for years.  And so we come to the French Roast tide me over purchase.  I get French Roast in bean form and coarse grind it there at the store.  No problem.  I get a bag and fill it half full.  I figure that will be about all that I can stomach.  I go to the coffee grinder nearby and just as I am posed to pour my beans into the top of the unit, I realize that the spout where the ground coffee comes out has layers of ground coffee stuck to it.  Who knows what kind of coffee it is and how long this crust has been building.  And we all know that as soon as I pour my beans in the top and place my bag under the aforementioned spout, the crustation will relocate itself in my bag just as my French Roast begins filling the bag up making it impossible to remove this crusty stuff.  Fortunately, my wife spied it and grabbed my arm before it was too late.  I see the problem and tell her we are going over to the organic area, there is another grinder there.  I survey this machine.  It looks good – no crust.  I open it and am about to pour when I notice some unground beans already in there.  Crap, who in the world does these things?  Is there some way that idiots know I am coming to the store and try to sabotage my trip?  My previous wife, who is also my current one, takes charge.  She grabs an empty bag, turns the machine on and proceeds to grind about a pound of coffee.  She sits it down, grabs my bag (of coffee), pours it in and grinds away.  French Roast in hand, we check-out and exit before anyone asks us about this bag of coffee sitting there.  This is perhaps the time when I purchase my own coffee grinder. Does that sound like a plan?
It is time to meet with the landscape kid so I best be off.  I should change out of my comfy clothes so I can be somewhat presentable.  Until we meet again – TA!

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