Trashy Tuesday - Just Sayin'

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your door forever.

GOOD MORNING/EVENING AMERICA!  It is indeed a wonderful day.  Why?  I have no clue, just thought it sounded like a good opening.  Caught your eye didn't it?  Okay, Okay, enough is enough.  Tuesday remains our trash day on Hysteria Lane.  We had to put the full Monty out today - Curby, Yardy and Garby.  The Yardy is full of grass clippings that smell like they will ignite any second.  I hope the truck gets here soon.  Curby is full of recycling and the Garby is full with a surprise or two.

Every spring, summer and fall we have a problem.  We get overrun by these little ground squirrels, chipmunks or whatever.  They are the most annoying animal.  They burrow and make underground tunnels, they eat the bird feed and they get in everywhere.  Getting rid of these animals has been an ongoing problem.  We have tried poison peanuts, traps, scare tactics but nothing really works. They just keep coming.  Left unsaid in all of our efforts is how to rid us of these animals in a humane and ethical manner.  I have goggled everything but haven't come to a resolution.  I have threatened to get a pellet gun and plunk them from my recliner through the patio door but this doesn't solve my ethical dilemma. Any ideas?

We are celebrating 2 birthdays this week.  Kinnick, the yellow lab is now 7 years old. His birthday was yesterday. Last week I think I mentioned that he had gone in for an allergy test.  He has a patch about 6" by 4" on his side.  He looks kind of weird but he doesn't let it bother him.  Our other birthday boy is Max, the black pug.  He will be 6 years old tomorrow, Wednesday.  We gave our Grand dogs a gift for their special day.  Also, on Sunday the family got together for a birthday luncheon.  I presented the birthday boys plus Barney, Max's older brother, a white envelope with 2 treats inside.  Boy did they ever have fun destroying the envelopes and getting the treats.  It was fun.


As an aside, do you remember when insults were subtle and innovative? These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Someone sent me these so I thought I should share. Enjoy!

•  A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease". That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
• "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
• "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."-  Clarence Darrow
• "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
• "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
• "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
• "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
• "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
• "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
• "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
• "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

I thought I heard someone ask about the expansion progress at both the spa and my bathroom.  First things first, Grandpaw Bailey's Doggie Fitness Center and Spa.  The indoor track is completely done.  Work has begun on the pool which is inside the track.  It will be a nice lap pool for the dogs to use.  We are also installing a special aqua treadmill. This will be used for dogs needing water aerobics therapy after surgeries and such. The water provides buoyancy which reduces the strain on the legs plus the treadmill exercises the leg muscles and builds them up. Pretty cool tool. I have also decided to install a sauna.  I debated quite a while on this.  I finally decided that in an effort to try to curb obesity in our dog population I should equip our facility with every tool and device that could be employed in this fight.

A very cool feature that I haven't mentioned before is the fact that this space is being designed to simulate an outdoor environment. The roof is like a huge tinted sunroof which opens and closes.  This feature along with the ventilation system bringing in the outdoor smells enables us to actually grow grass and trees inside.  You know how dogs are; they like to exercise their nose.  This is so innovative we might even get written up in a magazine.  More on that later.  Our promotion with the library ladies next door is rounding into shape. It is pretty exciting.  Kay, my trainer friend from my gym, suggested we create a space upfront that was bright and cozy so our customers can relax with a cup of French Roast and read a book on their Kindle or whatever.  The library ladies are all over this.  They like technology thingy's.  I have taken this a little further. I am one of the first Doggie Fitness Centers and Spa in the area to have a free WIFI setup.  Shoot, I even hit up Billie Bob for a contribution to this project.  He sees all sorts of potential marketing opportunities for his Dump & Run Sewer Sucking Service.

For instance, this is the back of Billie Bob's "honey wagon".  It reads "Your number 2 is our number 1!"  Cool!

Oh, Oh, I almost forgot. One of the biggest features of our expansion is that we are going green.  I have installed 2 wind generators which will generate enough electricity to run our WIFI, heating for the pool, sauna, Jacuzzi and HVAC.  No they are not those big mamas you see all over the countryside. Our windmills are urban friendly.   They have vertical fins that spin around at the merest hint of wind.  This is another first for our community.

Now to the bathroom.  I have been doing little things for a couple of weeks in preparation for an all-out assault.  Jenny, the elder, has virtually completed her bathroom remodel so my equipment has been freed up plus she will be available later this week.  Fresh from her experience she should be a big help.  I have arranged to have my current wife, Sue, gone Thursday through Saturday.  That will be a big help in getting things done.  Now the fun begins.

I must apologize for the delay in getting this out to you guys.  Unfortunately, I had an appointment in Iowa City this morning and just got back (1:15 pm).  This is a quiet period before going to Marion tonight for an early supper with some friends.  Actually, looking forward to it since we have pretty much the same type of personality. Yes, Wanda there are really two of us.  I have been pitching the "BlogPaws" convention in Salt Lake City to the current wife.  She seems less than enthusiastic about the whole thing.  May just have to leave her home.  It would save money, increase our gas mileage, reduce the number of stops along the way and allow me to be free to chat with the pet bloggers and take in the sights and smells. I suppose it will be predicated on the state of the dripping faucet bathroom remodel.

BlogPaws for those of you who are unfamiliar is an online community for pet bloggers, pet enthusiasts, and pet people. Now, Now don't roll your eyes.  You have your favorite things to be an advocate for. This is a cool group with a central focus.  Now, I have held up my end with Drivel?  We have covered a lot today.  Next week will probably be something else again.  I'm sorry this blog has taken me so long; shoot I had to brew a second pot of my beloved French Roast.  Boy, does that hit the spot! In the words of somebody - "Later gator" or as Kinnick would say - Wrouff, Wrouff, spluff. That is Labrador for "It's time to go."  Until next we meet, TA!