Trashy Tuesday - Grandpaw Wants To Hide

Yes, it is Trashy Tuesday.  Thank you for coming and visiting with me today.  I am somewhat disappointed that I don't have more Trashy News to talk about.  This is getting sooo boring; I may have to change the name. How about "Tuneful Tuesday" or "Twiddle-Dee, Twiddle-Tuesday" or perhaps "If it's Tuesday, It Must be Tuna"?  I still need to work on that a bit.

Most of the time as I write this blog, I have Pandora playing my 50's and 60's music.  That is the era I live in most of the time.  I have been known to sing along with some of the tunes, okay - most of the tunes.  My current wife would dispute using the term "sing" as it relates to my monotone wailing.  Anyway, I thought I would share some favorite church hymns I have run across.  It seems everyone has a favorite.

• The Dentist's Hymn:  Crown Him with Many Crowns.
• The Weatherman's Hymn:  There Shall Be Showers of Blessings.
• The Tailor's Hymn:  Holy, Holy, Holy.
• The Golfer's Hymn:  There's a Green Hill Far Away.
• The Gossip's Hymn:  Pass It On.
• The Politician's Hymn:  Standing on the Promises.
• The Optometrist's Hymn:  Open Mine Eyes That I Might See.
• The IRS Hymn:  All to Thee.
• The Electrician's Hymn:  Send the Light.
• The Shopper's Hymn:  Sweet By and By.

Remember a while back I was railing on Kraft Foods for discontinuing their 1 lb. Block of American Cheese? I even got a call from a Kraft Foods Rep explaining how it just wasn't selling very well on the East and West Coasts.  Yadda, Yadda, Yadda!  So I do my due diligence and find a company that is still producing the block American Cheese.  You may have heard of them - Land O'Lakes.  I contacted them to find a local distributor only to find out that the closest reseller was more than 100 miles away.  Okay, in my mind I see a wonderful opportunity for Hy-Vee to soften the flack over no blocks of American Cheese by hooking up with Land O'Lakes.  I shoot an email to Hy-Vee corporate.  A few days later, I get a response that my request has been forwarded to my local Hy-Vee store manager and he will get in touch with me.  That was March 7th to be exact.  As of today, my local Hy-Vee store manager has yet to contact me as promised.

On my way home after my 5K workout at the gym yesterday, my current wife called and asked me to stop by Fairway on the way home for a couple of things.  I always take a look at the meat counter whether I need something or not.  I notice right there in the display case is a 5 lb. block of.... wait for it.... Land O'Lakes American Cheese. I promptly requested a pound and found I could get special pricing for a 5 pounder also.  See ya Hy-Vee!  Today I will notify Hy-Vee of my findings and frustrations.  I may have an update in May based on past history.

The news at Grandpaw Bailey's Doggie Fitness Center and Spa could be better.  Work is progressing nicely on our expansion starting with the doggie pool and Jacuzzi.  A dialogue has developed with the ladies who run the library branch next door.  We are working on a joint program to be launched when school gets out aimed at boosting readership among the kids as well as their parents during the summer.  On my side of the program, I am adding to the Spa which is in front.  Next to the solar tanning beds, I am installing a grooming workstation and also a bathing station.  The idea is for the parents to drop off their pets at my place for manny/peddies, grooming and baths while the kids roam through the library with their parents.  I think it could be a hit since we are giving discounts at the spa and the library is offering free access to eBook tablets for the summer.  Let's keep our fingers crossed.

On a related note, the store on the other side of the branch library is one of those women's salons where they do your hair, manicures, pedicures and offer tanning beds, sprays and massages (not the Lady Godiva kind).  I will be reaching out to them in the future also. Billie Bob's Dump & Run Sewer Sucking Service Doggie Bidet you remember bought the naming rights to the French Doggie Bidet and holding tank.

Billie Bob is quite a guy.  He has been in quite a few times since the sign went up.  Usually, he strolls in the door; walks directly back to the bidet, stands and admires the sign.  I really had to chuckle at him the other day.  Now Billie Bob may be a stereotypical sewer sucking service owner, you know the type; a little overweight; dirty bib overalls over what used to be a white t-shirt.  Clean shaven sometime last week and straggly hair.  Oh, almost forgot, his two upper front teeth are missing.  The other day was our scheduled sewer sucking day.  He runs a long hose, about 4 inch diameter, in the front door; past the front counter, down the aisle about 40 feet to the bidet holding tank.  The last time this hose was clean was when it was new about 15 years ago.  In all fairness to Billie Bob, he does lay down a roll of paper first but the paper really doesn't prevent the "stuff" leaking from the many duct taped holes from soaking into the carpet anyway.

I had asked Kay to stop by to take a gander at our place.  She is a very nice looking young lady trainer at the gym I attend.  I had forgotten about Billie Bob being there when I invited her.  I normally leave his day open so as not to offend anyone.  Well, here is Billie Bob talking to me at the front counter. Just so happens he had to blow his nose on, you guessed it, in what used to be a white handkerchief the moment Kay walked in.  I died a thousand deaths in the span of 5 seconds.  If I could have found a place to hide I would have.  Kay walks right up to the counter, eyeballs Billie Bob, slides a few steps to the left and we begin to chat.  Billie Bob is ogling Kay as he wipes his nose.  I can see he is about to hit on her; his eyes are the size of quarters, he is flushed, as near as I can tell under the whiskers.  Kay, bless her heart is a dog lover and she understands that business must go on so she is cool.  They begin talking and I am thinking "Oh No" this isn't going to have a good outcome.  Regaining some semblance of sanity, I usher Kay into the other room to view our expansion and its progress, whew!  Just then the sewer sucking was over and Billie Bob had to roll his hose up and whatever. The spurned pick-up had been thwarted.  Once he was out of the building, I apologized to Kay profusely for having to endure the encounter.  She was cool about it and confided to me that Billie Bob had been a member once upon a time.  He would dress up in speedo type of shorts and a he man shirt with a leather brace wrapped around his mid-section.  That image gave me goose bumps all over.  She continued that he once had asked her out on a date but she respectfully declined.  Kay has excellent judgement I would say. I invited her back anytime but she may want to call ahead first.

I have been remiss in my review of our Easter Sunday meal and fixings.  Everything was just about perfect.  One thing I didn't mention was the gravy.  Daughter Jenny, the elder, is our gravy chef. She prepared the best gravy of all time, I think.  It was wonderful; she made an extra amount for future warm-ups.  Kudos for the great job.

Reflections on Growing Old

• Your Kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren  and/or granddogs are Perfect!
• Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better!
• You Forget names .... But it's OK because other people forgot they Even knew you!!! Oh, so true.
• You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... Especially Golf.
• The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.  Huh? I've got a headache.
• You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. My current wife, Sue, calls it "pre-sleep".

OMG, the bathroom.  Progress has not exactly been quick.  In my current wife's eyes, it is the pace she expected.  She hopes it will be done by Thanksgiving.  Wish me luck.  She took down the wallpaper we had on 2 walls.  Let me rephrase that, she helped the wallpaper fall off the walls.  It took all of 10 minutes with a 5 minute rest in there also.  Her back still gives her fits.  I have managed to remove most of the baseboards and some caulk that needed replacement. I also took off the springy thingy that keeps the door from slamming into the wall.  All in all, the project is moving along as I expected.  Some time ago, I predicted that as this escalated from replacing a rubber washer in the faucet to a bathroom redo that we would also replace the toilet.  Guess what is sitting in our staging area (living room).  Yep, a brand spanking new toilet.  Don't even whisper the word "tub".  I will draw the line there, I hope.

Okay, Okay, here is the closing if any of my readers are still with me at this point.  I am weighing the possibility of moving my blogs to a new platform and also making a website where it will be available.  I am also contemplating addition blogs and possibly an eBook.  I know most of you just wish I would go away and sit in a corner but I am just too stubborn to do that.  I haven't had any French Roast for 4 days now and I am feeling the effects.  I am rather jittery, have not had a coffee high and am head achy. I will sign off today with these words - "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde. I bid you a fond ado.  Go be happy. TA!

P.S.  My yellow lab granddog, Kinnick, just got home from the specialist a few minutes ago.  He had allergy tests ran on him.  I haven't seen the report yet but his mom told me over the phone and apparently Kinnick is allergic to almost everything outside plus a few things inside as well.  I will be on a regime of periodic shots year round it seems.  Poor baby!