Trashy Tuesday - The Dawn

Can you believe it?  It is Trashy Tuesday and I am here again.  We successfully sprung ahead last weekend and I am still contending with the effects of a lost hour of sleep and the after-effects of a cold.  I actually went back to bed after hauling my trash out.  I just couldn't keep my eyes open.  I had two helpers today with my trash, Kinnick the yellow lab and Sue my current wife.  It was kind of a trash milestone of sorts.  Here March 13th, is the first day of spring, summer, fall routine.  I was clad in my flip flops, shorts, t-shirt and my Cousin Eddie hat.  A little of winter and more spring attire.  I thought it was an appropriate way to change over.

Yes, Kinnick is a long term boarder here at the spa.  His mother seems to be biking in Utah this week and reportedly having a great time.  Since Kinnick is here for a longer stay, I felt it would be good to intensify training in light of the warm temperatures.  I am now testing his physical and mental condition as winter closes.  Today, I will be running him through a sequence of agility tests, strength tests, both cardio and aerobic tests.  We will wear him out and then test his mental condition.  Should be interesting.

Word has spread around town about my selling the naming rights to the French Doggie Bidet installation.  The phone has been ringing off the hook.  I think I may have struck a gold mine her.  Grandpaw Bailey's Doggie Fitness Center and Spa is getting attention.  The other day I was working the  front desk when a guy walked in with a poster he asked to be put in the front window.  Seems he had an issue with some unexpected puppies.  I thought it cute so here you are:

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. 

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. 

Rhonda, my high school intern, came running into the back room where I was eating a couple of hot dogs while washing towels and blankets.  There was a lady up front demanding to see the owner right now.  OMG, what now?  I don't think we have done any wronged anyone lately at least.  As I walk up front, I see a very nice looking lady about 30 or so.  I swallowed the last bite of my hot dog rather hastily, cleared my throat and introduced myself.  Lady Godiva Peters has heard about our selling the naming rights to the French Doggie Bidet.  See is an "acquaintance" of Billie Bob it seems.  Lady explains she owns a "message and escort" business and would like to buy the naming rights to our custom made doggie message tables.  Interesting.  We discuss the money part of things.  I have decided to sell naming rights on equipment and stuff on a monthly basis.  That way we can keep things current and can rotate occasionally.  We eventually agree on the fees for a 6 month term.  I will receive some dollars and occasional services in exchange for nice big signs reading:

Lady Godiva

Relaxation Services & On-Call Escort Services

Satisfaction Guaranteed or We Will Do Over.

Seems as though Lady and I have a deal.  Great. I am eager to get the signs up.

Many of you know that I have an inquisitive mind.  I was going to Iowa City to see my sign guy about Lady G's signs and my mind began to wander.  I wondered why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?  I couldn't answer that so I wondered why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?  Seems as though I always have more questions than answers.  I have been having problems sleeping lately myself.  Tossing, turning, waking up all the time and exhausted when I get up.  I will talk to Lady G about that.  She might be able to help.

My current wife, Sue, frustrated with all my questions that no one has an answer to came into my "Man Cave" and immediately started quizzing me about words.  She knows I consider myself as a sort of self-made wordsmith.  Question: Did I know that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?  Of course, I reply.  Question: Did I know that "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" is the longest word typed with your right hand? Come on give me something hard will ya?  Completely, flustered out she goes to do more research I suppose.

The nap and my French Roast from Colombia have my mind buzzing.  I had better sign off before I get in more trouble.  BTW, the replacement washer for the bathroom faucet has now cost me $1,400.  That does not include a new bathtub - yet!  Have a great day, we will see you soon so clean the house.  TA!