Trashy Tuesday

Good Morning America, How are you?

*************** NEWS FLASH ***********************

The GARBY has landed.  Yep, about 3:00 pm yesterday my GARBY was delivered.  Delivered may be too kind of a word.  It was unceremoniously dumped in my driveway.

Photo credit: 6:45 am August 9 by my current wife.  Notice my attire.  This is my early morning stealth clothing.  Don't be frightened.  It is my intention to blend into my surroundings in case the Gestapo happen by.  Also note, the GARBY, on the left is the requisite 3 feet from the CURBY, on the right.

  A plastic bag was attached containing a brochure entitled "Working Together to Keep Our City Clean".  It explains how the GARBY is to be used PLUS it reviews the proper usage of the CURBY and YARDY.   Thank you very much for this information.  Their welcoming statement is quoted here: "The Cedar Rapids Solid Waste & Recycling Division is your partner when it comes to keeping the City of Cedar Rapids clean and healthy.  We work hard to provide a service that is easy to use and addresses your removal needs.  This guide will provide you with the basic information you need to take advantage of our services."

Well, isn't that a self-serving mouthful?  We are your partners, we feel your pain, and we work our fingers to the bone to keep you clean.  REALLY!!  I, for one, don't buy it.  I don't see anywhere where they indicate that they are working for us, the taxpayers.  No, they are not providing a service that is easy to use nor does it address our removal needs.

The booklet on page 3 states "We will collect one 35-gallon, 40 pound container from each customer every week. Additional garbage needs a $1.50 sticker.  More details .....pg. 7".  Okay, I go to page 7 for more details.  Here is stated "Bag all garbage before putting it in GARBY; 100 pound limit; Leave three feet between GARBY and other objects; Lids must be closed and etc.  Uh pardon me folks, on page 3 you state a 40 pound limit, page 7 states 100 pound limit  Which is it?  Page 7 tells us to place our garbage in a plastic bag then put the bag in the GARBY.  How does bagging and putting it in a can make the service easy to use? If I am trying to go GREEN, how do I use a GARBY?  I don't want to put more plastic in the landfill.  Can I return my GARBY and get a credit on my utility bill? You state "Every customer pays for the collection of one GARBY cart each week ........  Give me a credit and I will just put a sticker on my eco-friendly bags.  Does that work?  That's what I thought - probably not.

EM has challenged me to solve her conundrum.  She always puts a bag in her garbage can, folding the top of the bag over the top of the can, and fills it through the week.  On collection day, she closes and seals the bag, removes it from the can, and takes it to the curb.  The design of the GARBY does not easily permit the pre-installation of a bag inside.  I have given this some thought since yesterday.  I did not sleep well last night worrying about EM's problem.  One solution is to purchase some spring clamps at the hardware store and secure the bag to the edge.  This however violates rule number 3 - "Lids must be closed."  I am testing a method of using an extra-long rubber band (I mean a "Long" rubber band), loop it through the drawstring handle, fold the bag over the over three sides.  Biggest problem here, finding a source for the long rubber band.  I only need 1, not a gross.

On a brighter note, I am engaged in a full out war with the Cicada Killing Wasps in my backyard.  These wasps are the B52's of the wasp world.  They can be up to 2" inches long.  If you see a pile of dirt and a hole next to it, bingo it is a wasp nest.  They are not particularly dangerous but they are intimidating.  Killing these dudes requires stealth and cunning.  As you may have noted in the photo above, I am all about "stealth".  These togs are new.   The ones I wore yesterday were covered in grass stains.  You see I have to crawl on my belly like a reptile up to the hole, drop my wasp killer bomb in the hole and skedaddle.  At last count there were about 15 of these in my back yard.  It is a daily battle and I am not certain I will win.  Wish me luck.  Wish I still had my M16.

The French Roast is long gone for today.  Clad in my stealth attire is it any wonder why I need my morning French Roast?  Just sayin'.  Thanks for your time this morning.  It was nice of you to stop by.  I enjoyed the visit.  As we part, remember Will Rogers who stated, "Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco." Thanks for the smile and TA!