Yes, my friends we have a trifecta - Trash Tuesday (needs no explanation), Iowa snowstorm (ditto) and my birthday - maybe I should explain. In 1945, my mom and dad decided they wanted a girl. Rumor had it that babies born in 1946 were going to be labeled Baby Boomers and they thought that would be great. They wanted to get in on the front end of this group. Who knew what these Boomers would amount to? They already had the son they wanted. The only thing was it took them seven years to make this decision. On this date in 1946, I poked my head out and said in my own way "Surprise". The story goes that my life was almost short-lived when they noted that they had another son. Thankfully, there were many very diligent nurses, caregivers, family and friends that insured my longevity. The story as I am told continues. My folks were extremely depressed for a long time. Eleven years to be exact. They decided to try again for the girl only to be disappointed once again. Hence I have a younger brother, who is balder than I am by the way.
That is how I came to this place - 65 years old. Reflecting on my life, I never really had a chance. The cards were stacked against me from that fateful moment in history. I won't bore you with the details but let us just say that "Calamity Jane" and I were best friends.
In honor of my birthday, I have decided to start the tax preparation process. Yeah! Also on my list of entities that I have no love for is the Internal Revenue Service. Not them personally, I guess. Our income tax system is what I hate. The current system is so convoluted. The whole body of regulations have been designed to stimulate various segments of our society over a lot of years. Each group of legislators tweak these regulations depending upon the needs of the government, the state of our economy and the whims of the President at the time. As a result it is such a bloated monster that it barely functions. I am in favor of getting rid of the whole thing. I mean EVERYTHING. Then impose an income tax of 15 or 20% or whatever. No deductions, exemptions, capital gains, and etc. Just a percentage of your income. No fuss, no muss, no ginormous ( a combination of gigantic and enormous) bureaucracy. It can be collected by your company just like social security taxes. This eliminates the need for all tax returns, 1099's, w2's, H and R Block, tax preparers and so forth. Great! Pretty simple - efficient, easy, enforceable and timely. Let's get this going.
Okay, back to reality more or less.
I haven't mentioned the Grandpa Bailey Spoiled Dog Kennel for a while. You deserve an update. You may recall that my dear Canasta Club ladies all moved out east and bought a casino. Some have filtered back to the area, to be closer to family. Overall they did extremely well for themselves. When they left, it was quite a blow to me and my current wife, Sue. The economy being in the dumper like it was, I struggled to come up with a new niche that would have a good profit potential. I picked domino's. More specifically, a seventies and over domino league. I was never able to get it off the ground. All sorts of obstacles tripped me up. The venture has failed. Sue and I put out heads together again. After a long period of research we have decided to augment our Spoiled Dog Kennel.
We have traditionally offered dog sitting services for our Grand Dogs - Kinnick (the yellow Lab), Barney & Max (the black pugs). Along with that we also offered, dog walking, transporting and sleep-overs. Hourly, daily, weekly and monthly time frames. Pretty full service. Both of our daughters are single, work many hours and are very busy. There time is limited when it comes to exercising the dogs. Sue and I decided therefore to open a dog gym. Yes, a DOG GYM. Certainly a first in our area.
The dog gym will offer the grand dogs memberships which allows them to work out on the machines, lift weights and join classes all for a low monthly fee. We are excited about this. We are in the process of converting our Canasta Club/domino room into a dog fitness club. We have already installed the automatic waterers. The treadmills are being delivered this week. I have paw weights, weighted back packs and yoga mats on order. Sue and I have been taking classes so that we can become certified Dog Fitness Trainers. Not too many of these around. We should be able to open our doors around March 1st. We have developed a new logo, letterhead and a new business name - Grandpa Bailey's Spoiled Dog Kennel & Fitness Club (GBSDKFC).
Stay tuned for more info on this. It will be really exciting I think.
In closing, I wanted to follow up on my last post about the driving tips. That sparked a moderate amount of interest. I actually had several readers offer additional driving tips to be added to the list. First, a friend proffered "DON'T follow behind a blond talking on a cell phone - 65 points" Done! MacBlu, next door, suggested "DON'T follow any small car with a LARGE dog inside - 50 points" - Done! Another reader mentioned "Never drive behind someone doing point calculations on which lane they should be in...1,000,000" - Done! A couple more tips are: "NEVER drive in the right lane of a multi-lane freeway until just before your exit, complicates on-coming traffic" - 35 points - Done! "DO NOT putz along when merging onto a freeway or interstate, accelerate to driving speed before merging - 55 points" - Done! Our listing is becoming more complete. Thanks everyone for the additions.
The French Roast is all gone for today and I am afraid so is the Drivel. Thank you Mother Nature for such a "thoughtful" birthday present - 2 inches of snow this morning and a potential of 12" or so tonight. Oh, and thank you Uncle Sam for my brand spanking new Medicare Card. Perhaps you could issue a plastic card instead of a paper one. May last a little longer - just saying. Supper plans with the family could be iffy. Maybe I will be content to have a breaded fish fillet with a candle stuck in it - Yummo! Have a GREAT day everyone. TA!
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