Sometimes you just have to do what's best for you.
Good morning Drivelholics. It is indeed wonderful to have you visit with me for a while today. I have several things I need to bring you up to speed on.
First, is our lovely and endearing Solid Waste Agency. I mistakenly went to their website thinking I could catch up on what the Garbage Gestapo has been up to. Our Solid Waste Agency is like the Garbage Concentration Camp. This is where all garbage is being detained; similar to Gitmo in Cuba. I was about to go to the city website when I noticed what seems to me to be conflicting statements. The headline of the page is “Curbside recycling collection.” Above this is a nice picture of a recycling truck. Below is a paragraph stating in part how various communities in the county handle recycling. Below that in big letters is “Sorry, we don't pick up recyclables....”
I understand how inconvenient it is to haul these trash receptacles out to the curb and many of us have limited space but the city has found “Lucy” the basset hound to help us get the spacing correct. Why leave room for Lucy you ask? Very good question and the city has an answer. Carts that are placed too close to each other or too close to other objects don’t leave room for the automated collection arm to safely reach around the cart forcing the solid waste driver to exit the vehicle, move the cart so there is room for the arm to grab the cart, then climb back into the truck to collect the material. The process slows down the collection and increases idle time for the trucks, and increases the chance of property being damaged during collection. What can be done if you have limited space around your driveway, you might consider leaving room for Lucy by placing your carts on each side of your driveway.
Tell us where should we leave room for Lucy? Leave room for Lucy between your GARBY, CURBY, and YARDY carts when you set them out for collection. Leave room for Lucy between your carts and your mailbox. Leave room for Lucy between your carts and telephone poles. ….and so it goes. BTW, I have not been able to find out where to get “Lucy” so that I can measure. A home owner in Cedar Rapids will need 12 to 13 feet when putting out all of the bins. Most of us just don't have that.
I have been considering the wisdom of adopting a paleo diet. Naturally, I have been doing my due diligence on this diet. It really looks promising and is certainly doable for me. Along the way, however, I have stumbled across some table manners and hygiene pieces that I question whether I want to adopt these also. For instance, Tibetans drink tea made of salt and rancid yak butter. Have you ever had yak butter? You can get it in some small Wisconsin towns. Some say it has an “earthy” flavor. In medieval Spain, it was customary to clean the teeth with stale urine. The theory behind this strange practice was that the urine would render the teeth especially bright and keep them firmly fixed in the gums. When our doctor asks for a urine sample for testing purposes, is that just a ruse to collect it for his own dental hygiene? Might ask. These facts are calling into doubt the wisdom of going totally paleo. Don't think I can do it.
I read an article which contended that our country has become one of “less”. To bolster the contention, the author presented the following:
• Our Phones – Wireless
• Cooking – Fireless
• Cars – Keyless
• Food – Fatless
• Tires –Tubeless
• Dress – Sleeveless
• Youth – Jobless
• Leaders – Shameless
• Relationships – Meaningless
• Attitudes – Careless
• Babies – Fatherless
• Feelings – Heartless
• Education – Valueless
• Children – Mannerless
• Country – Godless
We are SPEECHLESS, Congress is CLUELESS, and our Government is WORTHLESS! It's darn scary out there! GOD HELP US!!!!!!!!!!
When you wake up with your ol’ nose holes filled to the brim with thick, slow-moving night-phlegm, there’s only one solution. That’s right. Get up, stumble to the shower, and let’s get down to business. There are three steps to pull it off:
1. Place your thumb right on the outside of one of your nostrils — preferably the one which is getting the better airflow at the moment. By doing this you essentially drop a massive two-by-four across your airway’s emergency exit door. Now there is no way for that air to get out of your lungs, except for your other nostril. And your mouth, of course.
2. Close your mouth.
3. NOW BLOW AS HARD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!! EYES CLOSED, CHIN DOWN, BLOW, BLOW, AND BLOW!!! PUSH, THERE YOU GO, KEEP PUSHING OUT!!! LONG, HARD PUSH!!! PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!!! ANNNNNNNND… you’re done.
So, how was it? Did it do the job? I hope you blew that clear, slick membrane of head glue away. If you did the job right, your hand should now look like you just squeezed the life out of a baby jellyfish. And if does, I want to give you my sincere congratulations. Because you, my friend, are incredibly AWESOME!
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service. – TA!
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