"CONFORMITY
is doing what everybody else is doing, regardless
of what is right.
MORALITY is
doing what is right, regardless of what everybody else is doing.”
Evette Carter
Hi everyone, don't be timid. Come on in, grab a seat, a cup of French Roast and let's get down to this week's Drivel. Remember, all guns must be checked at the door. My current wife, Sue will be guarding the door to insure compliance.
Many of you know today is “Trashy Tuesday” here on Hysteria Lane. Our beloved Solid Waste Dept. have invested somewhere around $6,000 for a couple of instructional videos. One of these explains the how's and why's to presenting our solid waste receptacles at the curb with the proper spacing. They use a beagle to demonstrate the three foot space requirement. The only better way they can spend taxpayer money would be to print a quarterly magazine in Michigan instead of locally. Each issue costs around $60,000. I cannot understand the rationale when we have well equipped printer's right here. They do state that the printing cost is off-set by advertising. Yeah, that makes it right.
It should be well written wouldn't you think if we out-source the printing. Wrong!!! An article re-printer on page 4 places Des Moines, Iowa 100 miles to the east. The original article correctly placed the town 100 miles to the WEST. Where did the change come from?? I could cite other errors but you get the idea.
In the “Olden Days”, most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May. And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence, we have the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Hey folks, cool it. A lot of people don't know that.
Hi Freddie, good to see you. You have a comment? Oh, a question, shoot.
Good morning, Mr. Drivel. We have not heard from Barney for a few weeks, what gives? I also want to know the Top 10 Hits for this day 50 years ago.
Thanks Freddie. While I stall for time and find the Billboard list, how about letting Barney take the podium and explain. Here is Barney. Hey, everyone, stop the whistling, clapping and shouting. You guys will give Barney an attitude.
Hi everyone, Barney the pug here. Sorry to have missed blogging for a few weeks. Things have been kind of tough on me. The winter was really long and I just hate going outside when it is below zero. That reminds me, does anyone know why dogs have to go outside to do their “business” when cats have a box filled with pebbles? Seems kind of discriminatory. Anyhow, I am 10 years old now and my age is beginning to catch up to me. I always was more of a lover than a player but I play even less these days. My master took me to the doctor and they think I have something called authoritis. All I know is my joints really ache. The doctor gave my master some tablets to give me. I sure hope they work. Heck, it is even hard for me to keep Max, my pesky pug brother, from bothering me. He just doesn't stop. Here comes Grandpa Bailey back, I have to lay down and rest. It was nice seeing all of you again. Take care.
Thanks Barney for updating everyone. I promise folks that I will rig up a laptop so Barney can blog while laying down and resting those joints. I'm 68 and I, for sure, know how he feels. I know it will be a good day when I roll out of bed and can get to my feet in less than 5 minutes. Here is the Top 10 Billboard hits, April 8, 1964.
1. Can't Buy Me Love by the Beatles
2. Twist and Shout by the Beatles
3. Suspicion by Terry Stafford
4. She Loves You by the Beatles
5. Hello, Dolly! by Louis Armstrong
6. Shoop Shoop Song by Betty Everett
7. I Want to Hold Your Hand by the Beatles
8. Glad All Over by the Dave Clark Five
9. Please Please Me by the Beatles
10. Don't Let the Rain Come Down (Crooked Little Man) by the Serendipity Singers
I have heard that inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" I don't know about you but I have asked that very question. Several years back I decided that I should make some attempt to reclaim my body from a fat puddle. I joined a gym. I googled “workouts for the aged”. It boiled down to taking it easy when starting back at the gym.
The first day at the gym I laid on my back and pushed a heavy iron bar into the air. Then I put some weights on it only because I saw a younger dude doing it. He was like most guys; they prance around to get psyched up and then they do 2 maybe 3 lifts. I knew I could do better than that – flab and all. There you go, I did 10. I managed to swagger over to the treadmills without even a grimace. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. OK, my chest hurts so I go to a thing called the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the elevator? I felt that was enough for my initial outing. I shuffled slowly down the street to an ice cream parlor and pulled myself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching my breath, I ordered a banana split. Kind of a reward for the first day. The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?” “No,” I replied, “Arthritis.”
The next day, I remained in bed, unable to move. I was able to take liquid nourishment but solid food eluded me. My muscles were too sore to chew. It was a few days later that I was finally able to call the gym and quit. It was a couple of years later that my current wife shamed me into joining her in a class called “Silver Sneakers”. Her claim was that it was a low impact aerobics class ideal for an aged and decrepit body like mine. I have been going ever since. The trainers won't let me over do it. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!
Can't believe it is already time to close this thing down. I have a group of editors tapping me on my shoulder every few minutes. One last sip of the French Roast and we will wrap this up. Thanks everyone for stopping in. We will do this again next Tuesday. There may be news from the “Hotties” on Hysteria lane by then. TA!
Many of you know today is “Trashy Tuesday” here on Hysteria Lane. Our beloved Solid Waste Dept. have invested somewhere around $6,000 for a couple of instructional videos. One of these explains the how's and why's to presenting our solid waste receptacles at the curb with the proper spacing. They use a beagle to demonstrate the three foot space requirement. The only better way they can spend taxpayer money would be to print a quarterly magazine in Michigan instead of locally. Each issue costs around $60,000. I cannot understand the rationale when we have well equipped printer's right here. They do state that the printing cost is off-set by advertising. Yeah, that makes it right.
It should be well written wouldn't you think if we out-source the printing. Wrong!!! An article re-printer on page 4 places Des Moines, Iowa 100 miles to the east. The original article correctly placed the town 100 miles to the WEST. Where did the change come from?? I could cite other errors but you get the idea.
In the “Olden Days”, most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May. And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence, we have the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Hey folks, cool it. A lot of people don't know that.
Hi Freddie, good to see you. You have a comment? Oh, a question, shoot.
Good morning, Mr. Drivel. We have not heard from Barney for a few weeks, what gives? I also want to know the Top 10 Hits for this day 50 years ago.
Thanks Freddie. While I stall for time and find the Billboard list, how about letting Barney take the podium and explain. Here is Barney. Hey, everyone, stop the whistling, clapping and shouting. You guys will give Barney an attitude.
Hi everyone, Barney the pug here. Sorry to have missed blogging for a few weeks. Things have been kind of tough on me. The winter was really long and I just hate going outside when it is below zero. That reminds me, does anyone know why dogs have to go outside to do their “business” when cats have a box filled with pebbles? Seems kind of discriminatory. Anyhow, I am 10 years old now and my age is beginning to catch up to me. I always was more of a lover than a player but I play even less these days. My master took me to the doctor and they think I have something called authoritis. All I know is my joints really ache. The doctor gave my master some tablets to give me. I sure hope they work. Heck, it is even hard for me to keep Max, my pesky pug brother, from bothering me. He just doesn't stop. Here comes Grandpa Bailey back, I have to lay down and rest. It was nice seeing all of you again. Take care.
Thanks Barney for updating everyone. I promise folks that I will rig up a laptop so Barney can blog while laying down and resting those joints. I'm 68 and I, for sure, know how he feels. I know it will be a good day when I roll out of bed and can get to my feet in less than 5 minutes. Here is the Top 10 Billboard hits, April 8, 1964.
1. Can't Buy Me Love by the Beatles
2. Twist and Shout by the Beatles
3. Suspicion by Terry Stafford
4. She Loves You by the Beatles
5. Hello, Dolly! by Louis Armstrong
6. Shoop Shoop Song by Betty Everett
7. I Want to Hold Your Hand by the Beatles
8. Glad All Over by the Dave Clark Five
9. Please Please Me by the Beatles
10. Don't Let the Rain Come Down (Crooked Little Man) by the Serendipity Singers
I have heard that inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" I don't know about you but I have asked that very question. Several years back I decided that I should make some attempt to reclaim my body from a fat puddle. I joined a gym. I googled “workouts for the aged”. It boiled down to taking it easy when starting back at the gym.
The first day at the gym I laid on my back and pushed a heavy iron bar into the air. Then I put some weights on it only because I saw a younger dude doing it. He was like most guys; they prance around to get psyched up and then they do 2 maybe 3 lifts. I knew I could do better than that – flab and all. There you go, I did 10. I managed to swagger over to the treadmills without even a grimace. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. OK, my chest hurts so I go to a thing called the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the elevator? I felt that was enough for my initial outing. I shuffled slowly down the street to an ice cream parlor and pulled myself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching my breath, I ordered a banana split. Kind of a reward for the first day. The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?” “No,” I replied, “Arthritis.”
The next day, I remained in bed, unable to move. I was able to take liquid nourishment but solid food eluded me. My muscles were too sore to chew. It was a few days later that I was finally able to call the gym and quit. It was a couple of years later that my current wife shamed me into joining her in a class called “Silver Sneakers”. Her claim was that it was a low impact aerobics class ideal for an aged and decrepit body like mine. I have been going ever since. The trainers won't let me over do it. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!
Can't believe it is already time to close this thing down. I have a group of editors tapping me on my shoulder every few minutes. One last sip of the French Roast and we will wrap this up. Thanks everyone for stopping in. We will do this again next Tuesday. There may be news from the “Hotties” on Hysteria lane by then. TA!
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