Trashy Tuesday 8/27/2013

 Never kick a cow chip on a hot day!

Will Rogers

GOOD Morning Drivelholics!!

Hi everyone, Barney here. Time for all Drivelholics to sober up. You guys have been on a French Roast induced high for several weeks. Now it is time to get back at it. Labor Day is nipping at our heels which means summertime is a thing of the past. I personally hate to see it go. Summer is my favorite season. I get to lounge in the back yard and patio. Mom lets me catch those warm rays as long as I like. Forget the sunblock. Don't need it. I just love it when I get a bit of a tan and my black fur gets toasty warm. Then I saunter into the house and curl up on my recliner for a nice nap. Life just doesn't get any better than that. 
 
Grandpa is rummaging around in a closet looking for something. He is tossing stuff out like a mad man. He gets that way sometimes. So while he is messing in the closet, I will touch on a couple of things. 
 
First, my idiot adopted brother, Max, is driving me insane and the drive is getting shorter all the time. He is one pug that can be totally happy playing by himself. For instance, he loves playing with his tennis ball. If you won't throw it, he will hide it in the couch, under a blanket or wherever. Then he will go berserk trying to retrieve it. He does this over and over. Usually I am happy for him because it keeps him out of my business. On Sunday we followed Mom downstairs. She had a basket of clothes. She threw the clothes into this big thing, put some gunk in there, closed the door and pushed a couple buttons. This thing makes a racket for a while. I have no idea what it does. When it gets quiet, she comes back down and takes the clothes from it and throws them into another gizmo. What she has against the clothes I don't know but she sure puts them through the wringer. Max and I were there with her as she took them out of the second thing. Max is bored, he doesn't care what she is doing because it has nothing to do with food. I look over at him and he has gotten himself buried in a pile of clothes. He is wiggling around like he is possessed. I am just sitting and laughing at him. Out he jumps from the pile and good lord this animal has a pair of Mom's underwear on. I mean he has a leg and head through one leg, the other front leg is through the second leg hole and the rest of the underwear on his back. Mom sees him, clicks a picture and Max is just looking like nothing at all has happened. Good Gosh. I go over and lick his face just to let him know that I still love him – more or less. 
 
Hey, great news, Grandpa just came back and he is carrying some kind of box. Oh, I see; on the side it says in big letters “Soap Box”. It must be an antique by the looks of it. It is pretty well banged up. “What's that Grandpa?...... Oh, you want the computer NOW!” “OK,OK, don't get physical.”

Bang, rattle, rattle!!! Ahem, good morning friends, neighbors, acquaintances and those I have never met before. I come to you today with a solemn heart. Yes, I am rather subdued today. I am extremely saddened by events of the past few weeks with the killings for fun and killing for a few bucks by young individuals who seemingly have little or no regard for life. How have we gotten to this point? I am coming to the belief that post WWII babies which I am one (commonly known as baby boomers) made grievous mistakes as we were growing up. What with the Vietnam War, the protesters, acid, drugs of all types, Kent State shootings, Democratic convention riots, burn your bra, free love and on and on, some of us really got our heads screwed up. Naturally, we shunned the values our parents had tried to instill in us because we knew better. Our off-spring and their off-spring have grown up on a slippery spiral downhill in the morals, pride of self and country, and work ethic departments. I am one that started us down this slippery slope and now apologize for my actions. I know too little too late. One last thing while I am on my soap box. I hurts me deeply to let you know that what looked promising initially has fallen apart. This is isolating the “stupid” gene. I had such great hopes we could finally get control of this chronic condition. My heart is sad.

Changing soap box topics, I was at the gym Friday. It was their annual cleaning day and they closed at 9:00 am. I did a minor workout taking it easy on the knee. I had plenty of time on my hands waiting for the current wife to get done sneaking around with the Silver Sneakers. They were able to go to 9:15 it seems. I am sitting in a nice chair about 15 feet from the front counter. I sat there for about 15 minutes, I watched people leave and the trainers congregate around the front desk. The place became empty except for me and the trainers. Would you believe that not one of them uttered a word to me that whole time? They looked at me numerous times without as much as a wink, nod or flicker of a smile. As I thought about that, I realized that that is the way it is on a daily basis. These people will virtually walk over you and never say a word. Now there are a couple of exceptions to that but for the most part it is true. I am thinking, hey dudes I am paying monthly dues for two of us and the least you could do would be to at least nod once in a while. Shoot the physical therapist who worked on my original knee looks at me every time I am in there and he has not said one thing to me since our sessions stopped. Maybe it is time be looking for a more friendly gym environment.

Excuse me for a second. …... OK, I'm back. I had to put the soap box away. I had the misfortune, oops – sorry, I meant the GOOD fortune to visit with my friend Charles, not his real name, yesterday. He is coming along fairly well what with a cold/flu bug and new shingles things are settling back to normal. He proudly informed me the he is again working on his train layout and he and his wife have finalized the plans for the “hump” yard. Very nice. I have been concerned about that. Is that TMI? 
 
Our Sanitary Engineers must be reading my blog. I believe last week I chastised them for showing up mid to late afternoon when I scurried to meet their 7:00 am deadline. Today the Yardy guy was here by 8:00 am. Way to go Yardy guy. Naturally, I haven't seen or heard anything of the other two.

I have to give a shout out to my niece who is getting married Saturday. We are attending of course. Wouldn't miss this event. Especially if I can have a chance at embarrassing my brother. Although hot, it should be a good time and wish all the best in the world to the couple. It is a late afternoon wedding so pet sitting arrangements are difficult. I hope everything is in order. The last I heard Sven is attending. He will get to meet my family. I have mixed feelings about that. You see he will see my family and me together in one room for the first time. He will undoubtedly know for sure that I am the one that is a brick shy of a load. As long as we all have fun then that is all that counts. 
 
My editors are starting to pace the hallway and that means I have to quit this issue of the Drivel. It, once again, has been an honor to let me into your homes even if it is just to end in your recycle bin or trash can. Remember, the Drivel is recyclable. TA!