Women
will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut.... and still think they are sexy.
Tuesday
again Drivellers. Are you ready to endure another blog? Good thing it
is only once a week – right? I was going through a mental list of
things that I could address today; trying to decide what may be most
palatable. For instance, I thought of
talking about the “Eye Are eSS” (Wink). They have been in the
news lately. I am reluctant to call them out for such despicable
behaviour fearing that I might fall into the “Surveillance”
bucket. That, by the way is not on my bucket list. I am particularly
excited to learn that by expressing “I'm sorry” or “My Bad”
fixes all wrongs with them. I don't propose to anyone who may be
invited to meet with them that they should rely on an apology to
satisfy their questions. I do think we need to remind these people
just who are
paying their wages.
Hope
everyone had a great Mother's Day. Well, not everyone. The guys
probably didn't fair too well. My daughters treated my current wife
to dessert at Biaggi's Sunday afternoon. All of their desserts do NOT
fit onto my healthy eating food plate. You might say they are over
the top. I figure that if I have one once a year then on average, it
is not too bad. I tagged along since I was driving and was fortunate
enough to participate also. It was their
day and they all seemed to have a good time. It gave me some
encouragement that when Father's Day arrives, I might have a good
time also. Trouble with Father's Day is that it is one of the last
special days in a long list of them and the gift budgets usually have
been pretty well drained but a new pair of socks is not too shoddy.
The girls presented Sue with a very nice necklace with small charms
reflecting special memories. Very Nice. Sven was not able to attend.
Something about a grill and cleaning or something.
I want
to give a big shout out to Frau Franz. She has been under the weather
and hope she is getting along as best as can be and on the mend as
well. Franz hasn't been to the gym while she has been ill so haven't
been able to give him a pat on the back. Maybe a shout out will help
a bit. GET WELL – Darn it!
Are any
of you familiar with the comics of Aunty Acid? No, well here is one
that I ran across. “Designers have invented a new bra for
middle-aged women. They've called it “The Sheepdog”, as it rounds
them up and points them in the right direction. Now, Now, Now don't
blame the messenger.
Guys
does this ever happen to you? Often I am sitting next to this woman,
who purports to be my current wife, and she turns to me and says
something to me in a voice that is so low that it isn't even a
whisper. Naturally, like every guy in the world, I only catch a part
of what is being spoken. I take a moment or two to try to fill in the
blanks to complete the statement. Usually, I fail at this so, as
would be expected, I reply with something like, “What was that?”
or “Can you please repeat what you just said?” Expecting that she
will repeat it, I get this glare. A long nasty glare. I have learned
through the years that this means that she just said something about
somebody or something that is not suitable for other ears. From that
point I get the silent treatment. It is funny when my current wife
gives me the “silent treatment”. She thinks it is a punishment.
Guys, we really know that is not the case – don't we?
Kinnick
was a guest at our
home over the weekend. He spent Friday and Saturday night. He wasn't
too much fun on
Friday since he played with his friends all day at Doggie Day Care.
On Saturday we really got after it though. After all of our morning
duties, which included going back to bed until 8:00 am, we went down
to a nearby trail for a walk. Now, this lab goes from totally asleep
and inert to out of control hysteria in no more than 2 seconds. I
mentioned the word “walk” and he was all over the place. He
jumped up and in one motion “nosed” his collar and his leash, did
a full circle, and jumped up on me gave me a lick. Now getting the
collar on is no big deal. You just kind of get it close and he puts
it on. Getting the leash attached, however, is another story. This
dog is so excited that once I get him to sit down, his tail is
wagging so fast that his whole body is gyrating even though sitting.
Trying to get the leash hooked onto that little ring is nearly
impossible. We always pack a bottle of water and the necessary “poop”
bag. He had a great time on the trail and got a good workout. It was
the first time this year so there were
a host of new smells he had to check out.
Next,
since we had a sweat worked up, we mowed the back yard. The above
referenced current wife had “suggested” that we bag the clippings
this time. That is my favorite way to mow. Kinnick followed behind me
as I went back and forth. He knows that it is his task to be the
sweat licker when I dump the clippings. He does a great job as a
sweat licker. He does need to go inside for a few minutes to
replenish his licker reservoir. He is so impressive. He knows how to
stay behind and out of the way as I mow. It was really nice to have
him help. We got done and kind of collapsed
in the house. I first had to wash up a bit to get the last remnants
of sweat off my brow and to remove the lick residue that tends to
build up. I had worn myself out completely
while getting him worn out. We both slept like rocks Saturday night.
My
editor is beginning to pace up and down the hall. I think that means
I need to get this wrapped up. Not sure but I will assume that is the
message. Maybe it is just a cramp. Anyway, I had better let you go
for today. Until we meant again, I will try to maintain a sense of
sanity here on Hysteria Lane. Tha may
be difficult. The 2 old ladies and the hotty are meeting at my house
tonight. I have already been told that I will be locked in the
computer room so
I will not be a “distraction”. Gosh, I didn't know that I was
that good looking! Darn – give me another French Roast. TA!
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