I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.
-Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (1875-1965)
A wonderful Drivel good morning to you all. Live and in French Roast Euphoria from the desk of the Drivel Meister - Grandpaw Bailey, ESQ.
I was watching TV yesterday in the cool comfort of my air conditioned home on Hysteria Lane when I saw a commercial for a product that I have needed for quite a while. You see, I have a problem of not always hanging up my slacks or shirts. I will hang them over any inanimate object that is in the room. As you may have surmised, I fight with wrinkles in my clothing all of the time. You would naturally assume that I would eventually learn my lesson but sadly that is not the case. That is why I was so excited with the Neutrogena - Rapid Wrinkle Repair commercial. I was so pumped with the commercial and its promise to get rid of wrinkles quickly. Naturally, I ran right out to the local Walgreen's, because it was the closest, and made a purchase. At home I slathered this cream on a pair of Khaki slacks that were full of wrinkles. Directions you say - nah never read the label. Just do it. I waited a bit then removed the excess. I was so disappointed at the results. This stuff didn't remove one wrinkle. Can you believe it? Reluctantly I read the label as a last resort to see what I had done wrong. Oh, hmmm. Forget I wrote this will you. It appears that I made a slight error. It appears as though this product is for wrinkles on your face not clothing as I had assumed. I didn't get that fact from the commercial. Now I’m off to get a new pair of slacks. The old slathered pair is in the garbage.
On the subject of funny things that happen to you. My friend, Fluffy related this experience to me during church service last Sunday. Fluffy runs the sound board and I run the video stuff. We often have time during a hymn or prayer to visit. It seems Fluffy was in Starbucks recently listening to some cool music. He loves his Starbucks and his iPhone music. He usually brings a large cup of Joe to church to sip as we work and listens to various things through his headphones. Anyway, he said "Sitting in Starbucks I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass some gas (fluctuate). The music was really loud so I timed my flatulence with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me… Suddenly I remembered I was listening to my iPhone." Fluffy explained that's what happens when old people start using technology!
I get emails all of the time, most are unsolicited spam types of things that I couldn't care less about. I received one the other day from an unknown sender that I thought I would share with you. Here goes.
Dear Friends:
There are less than 5 months until Election Day when the people will decide who will be the next President of the United States. The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It's time that we all need to come together, Democrats and Republicans alike.
In a bi-partisan effort for America:
If you will support Mitt Romney, please drive with your headlights ON during the day.
If you support Barack Obama,
Please drive with your headlights OFF at night.
Together, we can make it happen!
Thank you!
This must have been spam with a wide distribution because I have noticed a lot of cars driving around with no lights at night. Coincidence?
My latest effort to increase my vocabulary is lalochezia, in a sentence it might be like "If you're feeling stressed, lalochezia is not the answer." I will let you chew that one around for a bit.
I have gotten past the spring fever thing finally. The cool weather is like an aphrodisiac for me. Like catnip to a cat. I LOVE it. I can't wait to workout, work outside, take on projects, aka bathroom, retaining wall, and etc. The expansion to Grandpaw Bailey's Doggie Fitness Center and Spa is completed. It has been a great addition and is very popular. The week following our open house, the library ladies set up some tables in our Paw Parents Lounge. They introduce the library to people, signed up and issued new library cards, and had readings of popular best sellers as parents waited. It was a huge success. As Maude, the head librarian stated "This was the best event we have ever had." She proceeded to give me a hug and a peek on the cheek. You would never know that Maude was 87. She is still full of vigor.
All sorts of folks have stopped by with well wishes, gifts and sure a few suggestions. Yvette stopped by. You remember Yvette don't you? The cute blond with big blue eyes who was the sales rep for the French Doggie Bidet company. It was nice to see her again. She was pleased with how the K9 Portable Shower sales have continued to rise. She hasn't changed much except she was sporting a huge diamond ring. Yvette knocked my socks off when she told me that she had gotten engaged to Billie Bob. What the H***. Billie Bob. Yvette I thought you had ah, ah more class. You remember Billie Bob don't you? Remember, I sold the naming rights to the French Doggie Bidet to him. It is known as Billie Bob's Dump & Run Sewer Sucking Service Doggie Bidet. Kay also stopped by. Great to see her again. I hadn't seen much of Kay while I was doing my "5K" training. She was really impressed with the facilities. We talked a bit about her moonlighting a bit such as doggie paddle class. She mentioned maybe some personal doggie training sessions may be of interest. I will be taking her up on that for sure. We also batted around a bit with the idea of having our swimmer pooches wearing suits. Thoughts? I am up in the air about this. Most of our swimmers will not want this for sure but I am thinking there may be some health benefits with this requirement. Just a thought. I will have to do more research.
I got a card from Lady Godiva expressing her regrets for not being able to attend. Lady was next door for a short bit. That space is now our expanded area with the lap pool, running track and whirlpool. Lady Godiva is "tied up" for a number of years as a result of her "message and escort" service. She really was a good gal.
National Whatever Day for June 19th through June 25th. Please insure that you honor these days this week and next. It's your duty.
June 19th - National Sauntering Day
June 20th - National Ice Cream Soda Day
June 21st - Finally Summer Day
June 22nd - National Chocolate Eclair Day
June 23rd - National Columnists Day
June 24th - Swim a Lap Day
June 25th - Log Cabin Day
Remember, MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!!
Okay, Okay! Sorry, my current wife is telling me it is time to wrap this up. Something about going to the gym and leave some sweat on the floor. Well, it’s okay the French Roast is gone and my Drivel is quickly eroding into nonsensical prattle. Until we meet again, keep your chin up. Oh, before I go, my word this week, lalochezia, means "When you use profane or abusive language to alleviate tension." That is it for this week my friends. Hope to see you next week. TA!
No comments:
Post a Comment