Tuesday - Trashy Dash

Welcome my friends to the land of Drivel.  Why Drivel, you ask?  Well, it just seemed to represent the summation of the achievements of my life.

The saga of the GARBY continues.  There seems to be a rumbling among the residents that the design of this garbage container is flawed.  I have heard comments such as "It is too tall and skinny; it tips over too easily" or "it is not big enough around bags of garbage go half way down and get stuck."  Did our fine Gestapo officialdom exercise their due diligence before selecting this model?  Don't know, I wasn't privy to the process.

I have to admit I was a little tardy presenting this week's collection of refuse at the curb this morning.  However, I wasn't the only one.  I glanced up the street and noticed a couple of neighbors SPRINTING their trash and recyclables to the curb.  One lady was still clad in a nightgown and robe.  Her slippers flopping noisily against the driveway, her robe fluttering behind her, she rushed her GARBY to the curb.  I was afraid a GARBY wheel may hit a hole causing a rollover of garbage and GARBY pusher.  That would not be a pleasant sight early in the morning.

A friend of mine I will call Charles (not his real name) pleaded with me to include this item in my next blog so here goes.  Charles was entering a local grocery store which has its deli frequented by a good number of our Firemen.  Nothing wrong with that, they need sustenance like everyone.  It is nice that they frequent a neighborhood establishment like that.  Charles did take a little exception when he noted that a commander or some sort of fire department official parked his HUGE station wagon next to a sign reading, "No Parking Any Time - Fire Lane".  Charles, being a concerned citizen, snapped a photo of the offending vehicle.  He proceeded to enter the grocery, did his shopping, and returned to his car.  After loading his groceries into his car, he noticed the Fire Dept. station wagon STILL parked in the same spot.  The more he thought about it, the more agitated he became.  He did resist the urge to go back into the grocery, seek out the driver and give him a "what for".  Instead, Charles dumped on me knowing of my aversion anything related to city services.  I don't know what Charles is planning to do with this photo.  Maybe an anonymous forward of the photo to a news station, or a meeting with the fire chief or maybe just nothing.  Time will tell.  I will keep you posted.....

Grandpa Paw Bailey's Fitness Center & Spa is almost completely booked starting Thursday.  The pugs, Barney & Max are booked for a long weekend.  They sent their Mom, Debby the younger elder or whatever, to a cranberry festival in Wisconsin.  Is the cranberry really worthy of its own festival?  Rumor has it that a caravan of ladies will be motoring that way.  Sorry I am going to miss it!

I have had a number of Drivelers (is that a word?) inquiring about the French Doggie Bidet.  There seems to be a lot of interest in this device.  Readers have told me that they are following the blog to see how my trial works out.  I think they are interested in a home version of the bidet for their dogs.  With winter coming, who can blame them for wanting an indoor solution?  Yvette, the blue-eyed sales gal, has told me that they are looking at that market.  Maybe we will see these in Menard's at some point, who knows.  I see that this is already getting lengthy; I have so much I wanted to cover today.  I was going to present to you the details of the waste collection system as this is really the heart of the device but I will have to delay that discussion until another time.  I will say that I called Samantha's Sewer Sucking Service yesterday.  My holding tank was already 3/4 full already and I didn't want to wait until full.  I can't risk a spill of waste products.  If that ever happened, the s**t  would hit the fan.  No, I mean it would literally hit the fan.  There is a fan down there that is used as part of the odor control module.  That would a nasty mess to clean up.

I have been remiss for a while to have a word of the week.  Here is one for you to chew on - pleonasm.
Yes, that is not a misspelling.  More later.

You wanted Drivel; well here is some more of it.  Daughter Debby, the younger elder or whatever, had a meeting last night.  As is her custom, the pug boys, Barney and Max, come over to spend the evening with us.  Their Grandmother, Sue my current wife, misses them and as such likes them to come over.  She doesn't get out much you know!  Well, the boys watched me go out to pull my van into the garage before it got dark.  Nothing new with this, I do this all the time although I am usually not in my "comfy clothes".  I walk into the garage with my flip-flops on only to be greeted by a bird in the garage.  I paused, evaluated the situation and decided that 1. I needed to encourage it to go outside, 2. I noticed it had already "bombed" Sue's car a couple of times, 3. I realized Barney does not like birds, 4. I need to close Sue's sunroof and windows, and 5. Why am I standing here in my "comfy clothes?"

Quick like an overweight 65 year old teenage want-a-be I closed the windows and sunroof pulling only a couple of muscles on my side as I stretched awkwardly across the console.  Next, I grabbed the trusty broom.  I engaged in battle with ye oldebroom around in the air like a madman clad in his "comfy clothes" and grumpy old men hat. I hated to do it but I was having no luck persuading Mr. Bird to leave, I called for Sue.  Out she came, I explained the situation to her and she took up a position directly in the middle of the garage door opening.  I "gently" suggested that Mr. Bird would probably not be likely to leave with her standing in his way.  We repositioned her near the back of the garage.  More futility - my broom was not quick enough to redirect his flight.  Ah ha! I grabbed a tennis racket.  I used to play a lot of tennis.  Mr. Bird dive bombed me, I swung, contact! Mr. Bird was stunned and landed in the driveway under my van, of course.  A bit more persuasion and I placed Mr. Bird in the grass where he would be comfortable until he came to.  Quickly I moved the van into the garage and shut the door.  Mission accomplished.  Oh yes, Barney - uh he seemed to have lost interest in the bird and went to the couch for a quick little nap.  Fair weather bird hunter, Humph!

My drivel is beginning to run dry for today as is your patience in reading this, I'm sure but we have to attend to this "word of the week" issue first.  Sip, French Roast is now gone also.  Okay, "pleonasm" means "the use of more words that are necessary to express an idea."  Do you know anyone with this tendency?  Now, now, no pointing fingers at a blogger.  Not fair.  I've gotta go now as I am officially "drivelless".  Have a good one, my friends.  TA!