Hey Drivel, Drivel the Cat and the Fiddle......

Our last post listed a few things that make me crabby so I thought I would start off with some more.  I want to see how badly this post will erode before I close it out.  

I got a good response from that.  Here are a few more for you to chew on:

1.  Repairmen who can't keep their pants up.

2.  Men who choreograph five long hairs over the tops of their bald heads. (Did I mention my new hair style?)

3.  Having nothing to say and having to say it in front of a group.

4.  It's too late to invent Velcro, Duck Tape, WD40, and post-it notes.

5.  The first six minutes of car ownership that cost you the entire first year's depreciation.

6.  Doctors too busy to answer your questions.

7.  People who never exercise, wearing designer aerobics outfits to the grocery store.

8.  People on diets who count your calories, too.

9,  Discovering you are out of French Roast coffee.  At 5:30 am.

10.  Sounds you can't blame on the dog.

I have started getting my hair cut in what I would call a butch.  It is so short, I don't have to comb it although, when it was long there wasn't much to comb either.  I wanted to do something green for earth day.  I can give up my plastic comb now.  This is the way I wore my hair when I was a kid.  I have come full circle it seems.  My dad was a farmer and a barber so I got free hair cuts until I moved away.  He was a traditional barber with the barber pole, classic barber chairs and such.  When I left the farm,  I had a huge problem finding a suitable replacement.  I got married and found a local barber thankfully.  He was good but eventually retired.  My current wife, Sue, then persuaded me to use her beautician.  She cut both women as well as men's hair and was eager to cut my hair.  I scheduled an appointment and in I go.  She was a nice gal but not the "traditional barber" I was hoping for.  It started with the chair.  It was not the steel, porcelain, leather old fashioned barber chair.  No, it was a darned plastic tub that you were expected to sit in.  It was wobbly and felt like it would collapse any second.  The real problem was that when you leaned against the back, your rear end slid out of the chair.  I was constantly having to reposition myself.  As you can imagine, the haircut suffered as a result.

Well, now that my life has come full circle, I have prevailed on Debby, the younger elder, to cut my hair at home.  I managed to convince her that this was something she should do for me.  She still holds out an illusion of inheritance or something - silly kid.  She never cut hair before but give her credit, she does a respectable job.

My favorite solid waste agency is at it again.  Cedar Rapids is the only city with "5 Seasons" and names for garbage containers.  You see, several years ago, in an attempt to justify the continued high rates they were charging, the solid waste agency issued every homeowner a recycling receptacle called a "Curby".   They also gave us "Yardy" for yard waste materials, leaves and branches.  They naturally had to buy all new trucks to handle these containers.  They went from two man crews to one man crews.  This week they announced they will give everyone a "Garby".  Yes, it will replace our garbage can.  Of course they will have to buy new trucks.  Of course they will go from two man trucks to one man trucks.  Of course our fees will stay the same - ya right!  Heard that before.  On the heals of this announcement was our Trash Tuesday.  Dutifully I had the containers at the curb before 7:00 am.   A while later a limb was blown out of our tree onto the street next to the curb.  It was about 10 feet in front of the garbage.  Before I could get out to clean it up, along comes Mr. Yardy Pickup Guy.  Did he stop and pick it up since it was close?  NOOOOO!  Instead, he ran over it splintering the limb to pieces and strewing pieces all the way between my house and my neighbors.  Thanks a lot dude.  Sue picked up some of the bigger pieces, put them in the Yardy and wheeled it back in.  It was a nasty day so the next day I went out to clean up the remaining mess.  I pulled the Yardy out, opened the lid, and started pushing it to the street.  The next thing I remember I laying on the ground, my head halfway in the Yardy, my hat laying on the ground, I had a pain on my chin,  my glasses are skewed.  I got myself up only to realize that I must have stepped on the dangling lid pulling it backwards, knocking me down, branches cutting my chin, hitting my glasses, bending them horribly.  Immediately, I looked around to see if any neighbors had seen me. Whew! no one saw me.  Oh yes, Kinnick was "Helping" me.  He just stood there, I am sure thinking that I was a real dummy.   We went inside so I could inspect the damage done to this photogenic face.  As luck would have it Sue came to see what I had done to myself this time and pointing out that my arm was bleeding also.  There goes the anonymity.  This episode will be quickly spread among our friends.

Did I mention that I am giving up being a handy man.  Still have lots of tools for sale plus a lot of parts for projects that I didn't need as it turned out.  Is there a support group for people like me?  You know like AA or rehab or something.  I need treatment to keep me from doing these handy man jobs.  I am scared for my safety.  I think I might be able to get my friend Jon to join me.  I hear he suffers from a similar affliction.

As you can imagine, the French Roast buzz is fading, my mind is becoming just something to keep my ears from hitting each other so I think it time to bid you a fond ado.  Don't take any wooden Drivels.  TA!